I'm in love with this girl and I have reason to believe that she's in denial about her own sexuality. She used to be my boss and she had my hours cut because of what happened a while back (my friend was asking her questions about how she felt about me and if she'd go out with me ... This WAS NOT my idea) At first I had NO idea this was the reason why my hours were cut, so when I was finally able to get the truth out of her (she kept avoiding the subject) she seemed irritated and told me she had my hours cut because she "felt uncomfortable" that's when I quit. Which seemed VERY strange because she made it obvious that she was flirting with me at one point during work, even my friends noticed she had sort of a thing or favoritism for me. The whole thing was extremely strange so yesterday I decided to finally talk to her about it. She took time out of her day after work to actually sit and talk it out (it wasn't the reaction I expected since she seemed angry last time) When I asked her why she couldn't just tell me my hours were cut for what my friend did she told me it was "uncomfortable " and "awkward" to do so. I told her how messed up and unprofessional that was and she apologized. She told me she was sure I was a good person and etc etc. (Trying to cheer me up kinda) At one point she lightly touched my arm when I was ready to walk away. (She seemed hesitent to really grab it though, she seemed stiff the whole time) Then I told her this WHOLE thing could have been avoided if she wouldn't have reacted so badly in the beginning. (At this point I was keeping in mind that she KNEW what she did (the flirting and overall attraction) She claimed that she had no idea what I was talking about. This all started when me and my friend were at the mall and we ran into her, (I was still her employee here) I waved hi then when I THOUGHT she was gone I turned to my friend and said "that's her!" In a kinda cutesy way. SHE TURNED AROUND and heard me. After this happened she started acting strange around me ... Very uncomfortable. The way I saw it was that she knew about my feelings based on what happened. So my question is that if things like that were so "awkward" why would she MAKE IT awkward from day one? She could have brushed it under the rug like I was TRYING to do but she didn't. She acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. The truth is that I can't get her or this situation out of my head even if I tried. The worst part is that I have no other wittneses who can say she was flirting or showering favoritism besides my friends which makes this whole thing seem bias. But believe me when I say that my friends would not purposely tell me what I wanted to hear. When she flirt with me she always did it when no one else was around. So there's no one at my previous work who can vouch for this either. I just want to know what I can do about a fucked up situation like this Please help
Hmm... The one thing that puzzles me about your situation is... What do you actually want? I mean, there's lots of things you could potentially do...but what's your aim? Also, as this has lead to you losing your job, which is bloody atrocious, there seems to be a far greater issue than attraction or orientation. Your whole social connection with this person has fractured to the point that communication itself has broken down. It sounds harsh, but how can you hope for answers of love and orientation when you struggle to get the basic truth out of her? I'd take it step by step. Before you can discuss issues of love/orientation, you first need to be able to engage each other as sentient adults. Best of luck, you've been treated unfairly, in my opinion, and it will take a lot of effort to sort this out.
I just want closure. I want her to tell me the truth and stop making excuses. I can't let this be because I have no idea what's going on. I want to go up to her again but when we finished out last conversation she walked out of there faster than I did. And if she IS in denial she would think I'm crazy or something, and if she isn't and she's just trying to protect herself from a lawsuit (which I couldn't file against her for various reasons anyway) She'd probably do something just as crazy. I have no idea how I can find closure from this :/
Sometimes the other person isn't willing to give us the closure we need. For whatever reason, they are too scared, embarrassed, or just turn out to be a nasty person. When this happens, you have to give yourself the closure. I know you're probably thinking its impossible but you must if you ever want to move on with your life. I was in a situation a few months back. This great guy was interested in me, we hit it off really well. Then one day he tells me out of nowhere that he was already seeing someone and couldn't talk to me anymore. I was pissed! He proceeded to ignore me and wouldn't give me any answers. Eventually I realized that he was not worth it and I had to move on for myself. You probably have all these questions swirling around your head, playing out scenarios of "What if.." Let all that go. You can't hold onto that stuff it will drive you crazy.
