Hey everyone! So, I love my boyfriend very much, and he says he loves me the same. But I seem to put more into the relationship and showing my passion to him than he does... When I have to go or something, or after school, I will text him right away! Whereas he just waits for me to start a convo, and still then, he doesn't always respond. Also whenever I just generally try talking to him sometimes, our conversations can be good, but a lot of the time it's kinda on and off how much is said in that convo, like large breaks in between texts. Where if he was to start talking/texting to me, almost wherever I am, I would respond asap. And then just generally being into the relationship, I've sent him (online and not) several gifts, and he uh, well hasn't... I mean, I know it's not about gifts, and he himself is the only gift I could ever want, but I'm putting so much into it while he kinda just watches :x I don't want to be in a relationship that's more or less (for lack of a better term) one-sided.. But I love him, and I never want to lose him... I just feel ignored sometimes... Like last night he said he was going to sleep at about 11, but he never went offline until after midnight :x Like he was trying to avoid talking to me :'( Should I bring it up to him? Should I just ignore it and let time pass? I need some advice
*rubs beard* Is he ignoring you? Or are you being clingy? It can hurt when you feel like you're putting in 110% into a relationship and feel like you're only getting 60% back, right? It makes you feel like a worthless sap. I can totally relate. But my opening statement shows that different strokes works for different folks. In my opinion, you should talk to him about it. Don't accuse him, but try to find a solution that's the middle ground for both of you. Something that both of you are happy with. This way you're moving towards each other. Best of luck
What's his personality? Is he introvert? Even when in love I'm more the "I still need my space" type. It doesn't mean that I love the person any less, it's just I need more alone time to process things and so.
Well, sometimes the person just don't like to express their love that much. Personally, I don't like texting and chatting online, although I do answers if someone calls me. The first and the last 2 guys I had something with were worse than bots in answering online and texting. For example, the last one, answered after 2 or 3 days after I sent a text. And the first one I dated only talked to me if I talked to him on fb chat. But both of of them were so touchy-feely in person, and they liked to hug me a lot and play with my hair, and do me massages, and kiss me... One time a lady with a Ph.D in something about communication told me that people have different ways they love and the also have different ways in which they like to be loved. For example, I expect and want a lot of physical contact and just talking a lot as in calls, and the way I show my love is too physical, but it goes accompanied with more texting. The first guy I dated cut me off because he said I wasn't giving his space because of all the messages and calls and all that, and the way he showed me his love was with gifts and physical contact, and sometimes with calls too, but to me that wasn't enough. The last guy I'm trying to date is the case that it looks that he doesn't care about me at all, but when we see each other in person, its the opposite. I mean, we all love in the same ways, but the levels are just plain different. Do you know what kind of love your bf likes to receive primarily? At what level does he like to receive it? What kind of efforts does he make when he's around you to show that he loves you? Maybe he just doesn't have that much intensity in all the ways to love, but deep inside he's always thinking about you. Talk about this with him, but try not to be paranoid. TI believe the fb part is a bit dramatic, why does he have to talk with you always when he's on fb? Be careful how you express your thoughts, otherwise it might backfire to you being clingy. Best of wishes
Thinking back to when I was in high school and dating, I realized, as a teen, I utterly sucked at communicating with the people I cared about. I was scared to open up, to hurt the other person, to be wrong, etc. What I discovered, and it may be cliche, but open communication, on a civil level, was the best for any relationship. Try talking to him. Explain how you feel, how you see the situation. Allow him to process and respond. Don't make assumptions. Try to understand each other. It may take a few tries to become comfortable with openly discussing your feelings, especially when it feels like you might be 'attacking' the one you love. One final point I can think of, life is not perfect, you may discover, you two are not compatible. Or all you guys needed was some open communication; heart-to-heart. I hope for the best for both of you. Keep your head held high and just do the best you can. Hope this helps, even just a little.
Argh - that's hard. It comes down to trust and faith in the end. If you question everything it only leads to doubt and that doubt can destroy everything you want. It's not easy because it gnaws at you all the time. Some people are just not as good as communicating as others. They show their love in different ways. Good luck
having an isolated zone where you can collect your own thoughts and work on creative things to keep you busy can help.
