Religious Self-Righteous Homophobic Mother

There are some people who will never accept you for who you are regardless of your sexual preferences. In your case, it just happens to be your mom. If it wasn't being a lesbian she would probably be a bitch to you about something else. The best thing you can do if you want a relationship with her is to just be civil and put up with the BS. If you don't want anything to do with her anymore then you are an adult and can do what you want. Just stop talking to her.

 

If she took your "Nope, not any wiser" snark as serious, you could have lectured her about keeping her social skills sharp. Because likely anyone short of autistic could have understood that you were joking.

 

I know what that feels like to have a non-accepting mother. My mom hates the fact that I'm an atheist more than the fact that I'm gay.

She was off like a shot when I told her I didn't believe in god, and she never got over that. Whenever she mentions my religious beliefs, she talks about it in a tone of disgust. She says that I'm going to hell and that she prays for me every night, and even that the only reason that she let me quit going to church was because "God told me to take it on faith that you'd be back."

Well it's a good thing she didn't hold her breath, because she would have suffocated a long time ago.

 

Isn't the act of admitting you're not wise (and thus can learn more) kind of the whole meaning of being wise?

It might just be me, but everyone who I've met who's claimed they're wise just set themselves up for a fall.

 

well, some religions are so infallible that only other people are wrong, right? /sad sarcasm turtle

 

People who have to talk about how wise they are are usually puffing up their ego.

 

Does loving God mean you have to love men? That doesn't make sense to me... Sorry she picked such a crappy time to hate on your "lifestyle". Happy belated birthday, though. I hope you had some good stuff happen too. (*hug*)

 

I'm sorry you have to go through this. This is the type of thing that gives Christians a bad name. This is not showing the love that I believe in. You have the right to believe what you do. It maybe an area where you agree to disagree. You can simply say thank you when she says that she prays for you. Is this the only thing you talk about or do you have other conversations?

 

Substitute "stance" for "trance" and you may have some idea...yeah, I suspect there's some pressure (subtle or otherwise) being put on her to "deal" with this...

 

having a homophobic parent is never easy, take this from someone who has two.

 

Its her loss that all she can see is a lesbien when you are clearly a lovely person

 

This made me burst out in laughter, in spite of the pain I know you must feel about this. I too am an atheist, and I have parents who are completely disapproving about it. These days, they just don't talk about it. When my family gets together, and my father starts to pray, I am present and I listen to his prayer as an open letter of all of his deepest hopes for his family. My father doesn't say things about bringing people back into the fold or about horrid things that may come if one is an atheist, but he doesn't say anything at all about my atheism--he doesn't say anything at all about many of my life choices--and that silence does something to a person. But I shake it off and move on, because there's so much more than those four walls in this life.

---------- Post added 31st Oct 2013 at 02:48 PM ----------

Try to be happy and live your life in spite of whatever they try to throw at you. And though it may suck it helps to anticipate anything they might say before they say it, so it doesn't hurt as much.

 

well, at least you got the beautiful wife, health and awesome job going for you! I guess some people just will never change though :\

 

Fortheloveflez makes a good point here. My parents' homophobia was hardly a factor that left our relationship in the gutter; It was essentially birthed there. By the time I came out, their opinion on the matter really wasn't something I cared about. I did a fine job caring for myself emotionally and adhering to my responsibilities throughout my childhood and I'll be equally as fine in the future.

It is wonderful if you have some form of parental love in your life, but if you don't there is plenty to be had in other forms, elsewhere. Your wife is an example of that.

 

I know how you feel. I'm not out to my dad, but he's super religious and anti-gay. I've listened to more anti-gay rants of his than I care to count. It's disgusting to hear him spout such hateful speech. And I know if I came out, he'd probably direct that speech to me.

But if she's really bothering you, maybe try politely telling her that if she keeps up with the hateful lecturing that you're just going to stop answering her phone calls and such because you can't handle the pressure to change who you are that she's putting on you. You just want her to love you, not give you hate. She's your parent and if she can't stop lecturing you about being gay, when you're doing so good with everything else, then she should just stop talking to you at all because you have people in your life who will actually accept you for you. And if she doesn't want to do that, then it's her lose.