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I am lost !!! please give me some advice

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by acali505, Oct 31, 2013.

  1. acali505

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    I have a HUGE problem and i don't know what to do

    My mom and my aunt want me to get an arranged marriage with a girl that lives in Australia, but i 100% disagree with them and the idea of arranged marriage. Although, I don't live with them they pressure me constantly with this marriage. They also harass me on the phone by asking me what i'm doing everyday. I mean it's not like i don't have a life ( I go to college, i work, i pay my own bills, and i stay in shape). Additionally, I'm the oldest out of my other siblings so the pressure is on me because they want me to show them the right path, and the traditional values.

    The problem is that they don't know i'm bisexual and i don't think i'll ever tell them that I am. I have three more semester left and i have to come up with a solution. In addition, i'm not doing well in school as i use to before because first i'm getting pressured by them, and second is my sexuality. You see there is part of me that have accepted my sexuality, yet there is other part of me that is still afraid, and worried. Does it really get better ? Because i don't see anything getting better, well at least for me.

    I am truly lost, i don't know about my future anymore. Before, i had high hopes for future and i had goals and dreams, but unfortunately i don't think i have those anymore.

    If anyone can advice me it would be greatly appreciated. :help:
     
  2. Thursby

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    You are an individual, so don't feel obligated to ruin your life just to make them happy. Their hearts might be in the right place, but they really just need to be respectful of your opinion. Live your life for YOU. Do what makes you happy. They'll learn to accept it..and if not that's their problem.

    It really does get better, and I'm not just saying that to make you feel better. At a certain point, everything just comes together and makes sense.

    There's nothing to be afraid of. Your sexuality is a small part of what makes up the wonderful person that you are. Don't ever take that for granted. Embrace who you are and love yourself wholeheartedly... for everything you stand for.


    Never give up on your dreams. Those negative thoughts are the only thing holding you back.

    Those hopes you have, the ones you hold close to your heart and yearn for in the deep recesses of your mind, they WILL happen. Strengthen this idea in your mind each day and understand that anything is possible. Keep charging forward and never let those doubts hold you down again.
     
  3. GayNerd

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    What you should do is tell your mom and aunt how you really feel about the marriage. It totally doesn't sound fair. If they still want you to get married to this girl, try telling them that you are not interested in her and/or you are already seeing somebody.

    Schoolwise, they should understand how them calling you every day and everything else they do is affecting your work. In fact, tell them that it is because of them that your grades are declining. I do realize that it is 'harsh', but it is what needs to be done.
     
  4. bingostring

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    Arranged marriage sounds very problematic and conflicts with your own life aims

    .. are there deep family/cultural issues behind it?
     
  5. acali505

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    @ Thursby, thanks for the advice and your kind words.

    Actually, i never thought about the idea that i'm seeing somebody, but i think i'll try that although i'm not seeing someone. You're right i should tell them how i'm doing school, thanks for the advice.

    ---------- Post added 1st Nov 2013 at 07:23 PM ----------

    Yes it is problematic and it's an obstacle that i have to go through.
    To be honest, i don't know if there are deep family/cultural issues behind it.
     
  6. resu

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    What's your family's ethnicity. I have similar issues with my parents, who are Indians (though Catholic and so a little more tolerant of "love marriages", even between ethnicities) and really want me to get married soon, but they have never forced anything and know I'm very independent.

    The fact is, this is the 21st century, and no one can force you into an arranged marriage. Since you're not doing well in school, you could tell them to stop distracting you with this girl so that you can finish your degree.
     
  7. acali505

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  8. resu

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