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this cute guy I like...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by JessicaHolst143, Nov 1, 2013.

  1. JessicaHolst143

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    Hey guys :slight_smile:

    I wanted to share this story I have about me and this "guy" that I like so much.
    this thread is gonna be a bit long to read so please bear with me :slight_smile:

    I'm actually older than this guy for about 7 months, he was born on Sept. 23, 1998 while I was born on Mar. 1, 1998.
    This story began when he transferred to my school last year, it was in our 2nd year in high school. he had small eyes, white skin, big shoulders, and he's a little chubby. I didn't payed that much attention to him actually cause we weren't in the same class and I chose to ignore him cause I don't like guys whose popular among the girls heck even 1 teacher has a crush on him and that bothered me. He's actually a swimmer and he's an athlete in my school. At that time I wasn't actually sure of my gender or my sexuality I had guy and girl crushes but I also felt like a girl. he actually came to my birthday last year, we weren't actually close He only came cause it was my bestfriend's birthday we celebrated together.

    Now on my 3rd year on high school I was put in the same class as this guy :frowning2: I still didn't payed attention to him on the 1st month he was the one who does the first move which actually gotten me to fall for him. In my country school starts on June and I fell for him in July, So on July 25 or 26 I actually dreamed about him, I was sitting on the bench and then he was standing next to me, he then smiled and slowly kissed me on the lips. I woke up blushing about it and thought to myself that this is temporary, I can't have feelings for him. But it wasn't temporary I became a bit obsess about him and its also because of him why I figured out I was transgender, in the following months we became even more closer to each other, we talked a lot, I texted him alot but He seldomlly reply's He'l only text me if he needs help on school work, I helped him out alot on school works and projects I even bought him a padlock twice for his locker. My friends tld me that if I keep on doing these things for him he might think higher of himself and just boss me around so I actually do less now. To be honest he's a nice person, he's funny, good with words and friendly but theres this "Bad things" about him that I don't like... He's a flirt, boastful, really sexual :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:, and he doesn't respond well to the things I say.

    Theres this girl that I hate big time cause she has a crush on this guy as well, were actually friends but I hade her so much cause she's so tacky and flirty -.-
    on her sweet 16 I wasn't actually panning to go, but then that crush of mine texted me and pleaded me to go, So I went to that party for him. He was the handsomes guy there. when I got there I texted him " where are you?" the he reply'd "here" I complained to two of my guy friends (they both know im trans and accompanied me to the party) I was complaining like "where is HERE???" Then I looked at the corner.. I saw him looking at me while fixing his coat... I was actually shocked and nearly died :frowning2:
    he said Hi and we took a photo together.
    but then....
    this bitch came along... the 16 roses was allready happening and that crush of mine was the last rose... the song was special the roses he gave her was special and everybody screamed as hel -.- .... I was on the corner feeling out of place... staring and crying inside... I then Told my friend to take me home... I cried all the way home.
    next day in school I just showed him that nothing actually affected me that night... I was scared and burned from what I saw... I knew something like that would happen.

    I'm planning on telling him before christmas break through a small thin notebook. I just want to tell him everything. I have tons of storys about him and me I just don't know if you guys can read another line XD lol

    AGAIN IM SORRY IF ITS TOO LONG.
    please give me some advice... on what to do about him... I want to move on
    after confessing cause I don't see him and me ending up together :frowning2:
    I don't want to be hurt anymore but I also don't want to be lonely in the end.
     
  2. GarytheGG

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    Hey, nice to see another Filipino on here :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Anyways, on to your situation, I think the best thing you can do right now is to get over him. Assuming that he does like/feel attracted towards you, I doubt that he'd be comfortable admitting that to himself any time soon, especially with the culture that we have to live with here in the Phil. I've had a few people who have talked to me about their sexuality, but deny the crap out of it in front of everyone else. It's just something that most guys/girls won't accept here. Besides, considering what you've said about him, he doesn't seem like a nice guy and just wants to use you for certain things. He wouldn't make a great boyfriend, either. Question, are you guys really close friends? Because, if not, admitting to him could just make this situation for worse than it already is. Hope this helped you out :slight_smile:
     
    #2 GarytheGG, Nov 1, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2013
  3. JessicaHolst143

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    gosh your filipino too? were close friends were not best friends or anything. But I'm confident in telling him anyways, I don't know how'd he react but... I think he all ready knows..
    his just that kind of guy who doesn't actually care if someones likes him nothing changes.

    theres this one time when I was sitting next to him and a friend of mine who knows Im trans, I was in the middle and he was on the left. he just then said " ako and sirchif ng buhay mo" which made me blushed.. then I whispered it to my friend but i think I whispered it to loud cause he started laughing then my friend started laughing.. I didn't realize he was staring at me. my friend told me while I was whispering something to her... He was looking at me (i think he was listening quietly) then she said his expression was kind of a little shocked then he laughed.

    ---------- Post added 1st Nov 2013 at 05:57 PM ----------

    I can't actually move on just yet.. I want to tell him first :frowning2: by telling him I think I'd feel better.
     
    #3 JessicaHolst143, Nov 1, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2013
  4. GarytheGG

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    Hmm...that completely changes what I was thinking... Have you tried bringing the topic of LGBT with him? That should be a good gauge on what he thinks about it based on his reaction. It should give you a sign on whether you could admit to him or not. At the end of the day, do whatever you think is the best :slight_smile:
     
  5. JessicaHolst143

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    He only knows the L and the G in the LGBT but he is friendly with the gays.
    here in our country people see me or other transpinay as gays who undergo's sex change.
    which is very false.
    thats something I want to explain to him... that I'm not gay :frowning2:
    I'll just tel you guys what happens after I tell him... I'm happy I have 12 friends who knows and could lend me their shoulder when I need to cry...

    btw please add me so I can tell you what happens next :3
     
  6. Jessica79

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    I wish I could help but I'm not that great with relationships and boys ;-; I think you should try and bring up the topic of LGBT and hope he understands the T then judge from there.

    GL hunny ^_^
     
  7. JessicaHolst143

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    I won't bring up the topic of LGBT or explain the T in it
    cause I allready planned it out, The T and the explanation of it will be
    in the letter/notebook I'll give him on christmas. I don't want to talk about it with him face to face cause I'm afraid, and I can't look at him straight cause I have these mix feelings inside... which stops me from saying the things I have to say... I end up stuttering so its really easy for me to just write it.
     
  8. BadCanadaJoke

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    Now that this is all over, may I just say that reading it I felt like reading a shounen manga?! So much high school drama....! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: I'm really sorry if I sound insensitive though:stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    Hope everything works out well :slight_smile:
     
  9. JessicaHolst143

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    lol I know!! I always compared my life to mangas like that XD
    its all fine now, he's cool with it and we've gotten a lot closer now.