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I'm getting angry at her for no reason

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by sirenscall, Nov 3, 2013.

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  1. sirenscall

    sirenscall
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    Hi, my situation is one I'm not really proud of but it is what it is. I admitted to my friend about a month ago that I liked her, she rejected me due to a number of reasons (she has OCD which she finds difficulty with) that even though she loves me there are reasons such as how she hasn't allowed herself to feel any sense of romance for a long time and she wants to work on herself to become 'the best person' she can be.

    I understood that and left her be so we could continue being friends, not really knowing what else I could do.

    But now I get angry with her so easily for doing things that I used to think were cute and kind of endearing, it's suddenly not so great talking to her any more and I get frustrated so easily with her that I can feel myself against my will, getting angry.

    I don't know what this is and I'm petrified of hurting her in any emotional sense (not physical) as it's not fair on her. I know it's not her fault I'm getting angry and frustrated and sad, but I don't know what else to do about it.

    I just told her around half an hour ago I was going for a walk to clear my head because she wanted to know what was wrong with me and that she didn't like seeing someone she cared about a lot being so sad.

    I don't know what to do. :icon_sad:
     
    #1 sirenscall, Nov 3, 2013
  2. Saturn7

    Saturn7
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    Nobody likes being rejected.
    it never feels good. Be it in matters of love, for a university place or a job, being rejected sucks.

    Basically, I think what you're going through is perfectly natural - so don't be too harsh on yourself.

    I think the healthiest thing for you to do is to take a bit of space from her. You're hurting, so give yourself a bit of time to let things blow over and let your heart heal a bit.

    think if it like constantly picking at a scab. It won't heal right?
    but if you leave it alone but check on it once in a while, things ought to get back to normal.

    Remember, you're not abandoning her at all - that's not the idea.

    all the best :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Saturn7, Nov 3, 2013
  3. sirenscall

    sirenscall
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    I think what hurt me the most was that I don't know fully if it is rejection. Well, of course it is but when she says things like she does love me but there are other complications that aren't allowing us to happen it's kinda hard to get this sort of closure I guess.

    I tried to take a bit of space from her before and it didn't work very well because as soon as I went back, bAM, feelings were back too. I'm sorry, I know it sounds so weak but I guess that is what I am.

    Thank you so much for your advice though, it means everything to me.
     
    #3 sirenscall, Nov 3, 2013
  4. Saturn7

    Saturn7
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    Yeah, I know what you mean. These things are hardly an exact science. Or more accurately, there's so many variables that it's impossible for us to always know the right course of action.

    Far from feeling bad about this, I think the first step is to forgive yourself for being human. I mean...you like someone, that's hardly a sin is it?

    You clearly a very thoughful person who is considerate of other people's feelings. But, in my opinion balance is key in maintaining a healthy outlook and control. So, have you paused to consider your own feelings from an objective point of view?

    I can't know everything about your situation but I do know from experience that most healthy relationships respect each partner's individual needs and happiness too. 'Interdependence' is an annoying buzz word, but I feel that it also sums it up nicely.

    Who knows if she'll ever be ready to commit to you? Or when that might be. Supporting her through this time is great, but not at the expense of your own happiness and well being. :slight_smile:

    So why not go out by yourself or with other friends and pamper yourself? Have a nice meal with some friends, or buy that CD you've been after. Whatever it may be, just try to keep yourself grounded so you can maintain control.

    problems are easier to deal with when you have some level of happiness.

    Take care now! And remember - SMILE! ^_^
     
    #4 Saturn7, Nov 4, 2013
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