In my last relationship, I was dating this girl and everything was great..at first. She was affectionate and great the first 7 weeks. On the 8th week of dating she became my girlfriend. That night we went to 2nd base. After that everything took a turn for the worst. She stop being affectionate and she began to become more comfortable. Everytime we made plans she got sick and cancelled on me. This happened about 3 times in a row. On one of those occasions she had a cold. I came over and made her chicken soup and kept her company. Then one day we went to the aquarium, it was a decent date. I tested her to see how much effort she was putting into the relationship. So there is this water fountain in front to the gift shop with a statue in the middle of the fountain. I stood in front of it after I exited the gift shop. So I waited for a half hour and she didn't come around and I got annoyed. I didnt text her at all I just stood there and watched the enterance. She came and just stood there and didn't bother looking for me.... Then I called her and called her out on it. I surprised her and we talked it out. Then on the next date we went out for spanish food and this restaurant is an upscale spanish restaurant. I put in a reservation and when I showed up she was wearing sweat pants. I told her we are not going to McDonald's we are going to an upscale spanish restaurant. She yelled at me and said that her body hurt from being in a car accident. Now all that happened was that she was parked and someone backed into her car. All I did was be nice to her and hug her and be affectionate and treat her well. Unlike her exes before me who did nothing but abuse her physically and mentally. Anyway when we went one of the waitresses recognized me because I perform spanish karoake there. And in spanish she says she's who's your lady friend? I answered back in spanish just a friend. On one date we were making out and we talked about going to 3rd base she didn't want to go there unless I proposed marriage to her. Anyway one of the final dates we were on she smelled horrid. I told her look u stink u smell like humidity that she smelled bad. She didn't care. In the end I broke it off with her and I told that it wasn't working out. That I felt like a trophy boyfriend. Which I was because all I heard was nothing but good things her friends and family loved me but my family didn't like her at all. To finish it off I told her from my experience with her I might be done with women. I told her that I was thinking about a sex change before I met her. But now I think I might go ahead with it. In conclusion I think back am I the dick?
Well, you didn't do yourself any favours by telling her she stinks, or by saying telling her she put you off women, but other than that, not really.
I'm going to phrase this delicately... you shouldn't say things like that to people. From your prospective, I agree that it wasn't going to work out, but you shouldn't tell someone that they stink and make you like women less in general. You should've just broke it off and left it at that. Some things are better left unsaid. What do you gain by telling her stuff like that after you break up? Nothing, but I guarantee she lost some self-confidence.
Well I told her that she smelled out and that she turned me off from women-I do admit i said thsse things because I was acting out of anger because I was feeling used. But u guys are correct. Somethings are better left unsaid. Her and are friendly with each other when we run into each other.
I think her lack of hygiene, or whatever, might have been the final straw for you and how you reacted was simply a result of her not treating the relationship, or you, with the respect deserved. I'm not condoning what was said, and there might have been a more subtle way to let her know, though it might not have made much of a difference to her at that point. One thing I learned the painful way when dating others, is that they'll treat you how you allow yourself to be treated. Someone who comes from a long line of abusive exes should be an immediate red flag, more so when the signs are a lot more immediate. You gave her many chances to redeem herself, and she failed; you probably wanted things to work out between the two of you, while she couldn't care any less. You're someone whose niceness was taken advantage of, and has more to learn when it comes to dating and relating to others, in general. Perhaps an apology might help get the guilt off your chest, even if she chooses to ignore it.
