So every week I frequent the same grocery store. There's this guy that works there who I've become interested in. We've never spoken and I know nothing about him, but I'm able to pick up on the signals. We always seem to exchange glances and he stares for a bit longer than just a casual look. He seems to find a way to walk past me in the store, and be there at the checkout when I leave (even though he doesn't work in that department). I don't want to be the person to read too much into something that isn't there. In the past, I've tricked myself into thinking a guy was gay and he clearly wasn't. If I knew he was gay or straight it would clear up whether to pursue from there. I hate that feeling when you've been making such an effort to get someone to notice you, only to find out they don't even "play for your team".:bang: The problem is: how do you approach someone in a public place? This is his job, so its not like a bar or a club where people are looking to have conversations. Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
It’s hard to give a response that doesn’t sound creepy or stalky. You could always write a check and put your number and “Call me” on the back of it, when you go to pay for things. Or perhaps wear a Pride t-shirt and if he comments on it, you at least know he’s “playing for the same team”. The most creepy of solutions would be to follow him and maybe try and catch him in a bar? Again, these are solutions I’m giving objectively to a problem.
Thanks for the advice! I've thought about writing my number on a slip of paper and when he walks by say "you dropped this" give it to him (and RUN AWAY :eusa_doh: haha). Its a very straightforward approach that I tend only to use when I have no other options though.
It’s probably the best way to go ahead with it. It’s the less creepy version and you do leave him the choice. The only thing is, if he isn’t gay, you’re kind of screwed.
You could just wear a rainbow wristband one week.. when you're at his till he'd see it then the next time strike up conversation. ask something neutral about a grocery product you 'can't seem to find' I think the phone number idea could backfire if he's straight -or taken - ... you might be too embarrassed to go there again
That’s very true. Although from what the OP said, he seems to be gay. Then again, he could just be very polite.
Public place? Even better! If you're wearing a t-shirt, walk past and brush your arm against his. Feel that body heat, and next time he stares at you, maintain eye contact. It won't kill you, promise ;-)
You could ask him for help reaching for something on the top shelf; even if it's something you don't need. You could make small talk as he's helping you.
I'm honestly not sure if he is or not. Since I'm interested in him, I could just be seeing signs that aren't there. There is another guy that works there that I see him talking to a lot who I can tell is gay. Obviously this does not make him gay by association but its just an observation.
Haha, yes, it's more interesting if you find some clever question to ask him, like advice on a certain product. Then, when you're on speaking terms, you could ask him if he's a student (assuming he is similar in age to you) or another semi-personal question. The goal is to find out about his non-work life and then try to contact/meet him outside of work because customer-employee "rules" will stop him from being too forward, assuming he really is interested.
As someone mentioned many businesses have rules about employees making advances towards customers, so he may be shy or may want to keep his job . Other option besides the suggestions above, bit of a gamble but depending where you live, a well-known small ads website present in most large US cities has a section for "missed connections" (and a m4m section for those), where people post things of that nature - reading it is one of my guilty pleasures from an entertainment aspect but it might work. As for all personal ads use caution to make sure you're actually communicating with that person and not some random basher who replies to ads.
