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How to find out if friends will be accepting?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Blue90, Nov 9, 2013.

  1. Blue90

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm starting to think about how to come out to a couple of my close friends. I feel like I really need to get an idea of how accepting they will be or won't be if they find out I'm gay.

    I don't know that they have any gay friends or relatives so I can't really use that as an indicator.

    One particular friend is Irish and Catholic. Not that I'm judging or assuming anything by this. I do know that she had a very strict traditional Catholic upbringing so I guess this may have affected her outlook...

    Has anyone got any advice/ experience of how to work out how they might react? Ways of finding out their views without it being obvious what I'm up to?
     
  2. tex st

    tex st Guest

    yeah that sounds like a good idea.

    (one) by accident i've mentioned some works of literature and movies that involved gay artists to my best friend at the time, and her reaction (not nice) convinced me that it was better to keep it to myself (she also had a very strict catholic upbringing -- so it's easy not to take things personally if you know they grew up in such and such environment)

    with my other friend, i just eased her into it by introducing my bf at the time as a friend. gradually she warmed up to him, and then i came out and she said that i changed her opinion of gay men for the better. i'd like to believe it's because i gradually eased her into it, not shocked her (which is what i did with friend number 3 -- and THAT didn't go so well)

    i'd like to believe that we come out to people because that helps us have more authentic friendships with them BECAUSE those people are ready and capable to accept us as we are (not just because they are our friends -- i've had truly nice friends whose religious upbringing made it difficult to be accepting -- nothing personal)
     
  3. BookDragon

    Full Member

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    Location:
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    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    "AHAHAHA...maaaan did you see that thing about [insert well known gay person here] on the TV last night..."

    "So I hear the pope's said man-love is fine now?"

    "Hi friends. I'm gay. Thoughts?"

    Any of the above should work nicely :slight_smile:
     
  4. Slime

    Full Member

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    Just drop in little LGBT topics or gay celebs and analyse their reactions. If you were to say: "Have you seen Jim Parsons and his boyfriend?" and she were to answer with "Oh yeah, they're just the most adorable couple on tv." then you would know she would be rather accepting. Same goes with a negative response. They're is no correct way to work it out, apart maybe from straight up asking them, but this could help you decipher the situation a little bit. Just make sure you're ready and in a safe environment when and if you decide to come out. Best of luck!
     
  5. GayNerd

    Regular Member

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    What you should do is casually slip in GLBTQ Topics into conversations. It helped me know who to not Come Out to. You'll be able to tell from their responses what their reactions would be to you. Though it may not be EXACTLY the same response, i.e., different because you're a closer person and a friend of theirs, it can, and should, be used as some sort of guideline to help you know.
    I hope this helps. :smilewave
     
  6. Silver Sparrow

    Full Member

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    Drop a bit about a queer person from pop culture into your conversation.