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Don't Waste your Time

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Mrcake, Nov 10, 2013.

  1. Mrcake

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    So I've been mentally and physically infatuated in this guy for over three months, and here's my heartbreaking story: I moved three hours away from my home town to go to college and I wasn't one bit out of the closet at all. Through the usage of EC and also my own self courage, I decided to go to an LGBT center on my college campus. I got there and met a whole bunch of people, but there was this one guy that caught my eye. We started talking and hung out that night… we started hanging out almost every day for at least a month, and things got really intense. Our friend circle started becoming messed up, so we took a break in our friendship for a while. His birthday was this month, so I decided to take him out to try and send him a message that I wanted a relationship. The next morning I said be ready by 12, so I went to his place at 12. Got there, no one there. Went to the bathroom to see if he was there, saw him there and saw that he was in his pajamas. I waited for him to get ready and was angry because we agreed that we'd be leaving at 12. 15 mins later we left to go out. On the car ride there, he sat on his phone the whole time and I tried to make conversation with him, but all he did was talk about other things. I tried to be happy and excited for lunch, we were having sushi. I took him out to a really nice sushi restaurant and we ordered our food - he decided that it was okay to order a whole sushi plate, which costed another $10, and a dinner. I ordered a sushi platter - we ate lunch and it was okay, but we didn't talk about anything interesting. $40 later I dropped him off at his place; he gave me a simple thank you and a little hug, he was worried about hanging out with his friend more than hanging out with me. Before he left he made me think that we were going to hang out that night. Come later that night, I had messaged him at 6pm - no reply. Come 6:30 I messaged him that it would be nice to have a reply. He replied cynically and said that the attitude is not appreciated. He decided to go home instead and hang out with his other friend. The moral of the story here is if you like somebody and they like you, but don't reciprocate or choose to do other things, don't waste your time. Don't spend countless hours, days, time, and money thinking about your future with the person whom you know is going to break your heart. I feel like a true fool, and I realize now why this guy has been labeled a player - it is all true. :tears:
     
    #1 Mrcake, Nov 10, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2013
  2. greatwhale

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    Don't for one minute, one second, think that you did something wrong or made a mistake. You were nobody's fool! You put yourself out there in a vulnerable situation and did what you could to make things happen.

    Clearly, the guy doesn't know how to be gracious and how to behave when going out, that being on the phone business kills me, how fucking rude!

    For the next time (there will be a next time!) my only suggestion is to keep expenses separate on a first date (establish that politely before you even sit down), that way you won't feel as if you're owed something, and he won't either.

    Do not let this discourage you or cause you embarrassment, this guy obviously missed the chance to get to know someone beautiful, kind and generous: his loss!
     
  3. Thursby

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    PREACH!!

    This couldn't be more true. I literally just experienced this a few months back. It was a very painful situation, but I don't regret going through it. I'm actually grateful it happened. It taught me to value my self-worth and not allow others to degrade me for the sake of love (which isn't really true love to begin with). We all deserve someone in our life who will love us unconditionally and treat us with the same respect we give them. It will happen, we just have to be patient.
     
  4. Mrcake

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    I forgot to say it was his birthday lunch...
     
  5. photoguy93

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    So sorry to read that it's been a mess! The only thing I can say is....you shouldn't waste your time on people like this - period. It doesn't matter if you're romantically involved or not. I would be pissed like no other if someone was this ungrateful.

    You shouldn't change who you are. You tried and it didn't work out. Just try and learn from this. :slight_smile:
     
  6. ryanalexander61

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    Unfortunately, in our attempts to put ourselves out there and meet new people with the hope of possibly finding a relationship, there is the inevitability that you will have to cut through the weeds.

    For 99% of people this is the case. You are going to meet people that treat you poorly, get into relationships or friendships where your acts of kindness aren't reciprocated. Such is life and only prepares you to find the right person when they come along.

    (*hug*)
     
  7. dapulu

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    I feel you bro. But it's still a way of learning. Now you know that even if some dudes acted the way that bastard acted, it doesn't really means they're into you :grin: I learnt it the hard way too!