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Help me understand straight guy colloquialisms

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Chierro, Nov 10, 2013.

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  1. Chierro

    Chierro
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    I'm back guys! Yeah, I know that you all have missed me so dearly, but I'm back...with some troubles. Apparently I am absolutely incompetent (is that the right word?) at understand straight guys.

    So it seems that time and time again lately I'm continually falling into the trap of trying to to get closer with the straight guys that I'm friends with. One in particular, Matt, has me the most frustrated.

    I'll be texting him one night about homework or some other possible thing which makes our conversation stem to many different things, which is fun. But then when he starts responding shortly or carelessly I stop texting. I did that the other day when he began responding shortly and then last night he tweets: Glad people want to talk to me tonight! #sarcasm #loner. It frustrates me to no end! Like do I text him? Do i not? Will he respond if I do?

    Matt is seriously the only person I can have a open conversation with and can bring up my sexuality like no big deal. Thew few other people I'm out to...I can't have conversations with them about it, I'm not comfortable about it with them. With Matt, I am. Don't ask me why but I am. I go to him for almost anything.

    One night he actually berated me for something I did. I texted this guy I liked asking him for my friend Jess' number, he never texted me back. I told Matt about it and he yelled at me for misreading something. The guy had posted somewhere that he was always wanting to make new friends and he'll talk to anyone. According to Matt the guy had just meant girls and I was supposed to just already 'know' this. Like how was I supposed to know that? Do straight guys have some lingo that only other straight guys can understand?

    Now I just feel kind of lost as to what to do. I can't talk to Matt because he responded carlessly earlier and I can't have fun at procrastinating on my homework...which I'm perfectly lost on and frankly need Matt's help at (he'll just tell me it's really easy anyway). Gahh...

    On a complete side note: I am absolutely fanboying right now that Nico di Angelo is gay! So unexpected from a book that is put in the kids section in book stores (which it shouldnt be...kids cannot respect Greek and Roman culture...gods). He's so sweet and if he doesn't get his happy ending in the 5th book then I will be rather pissed.
     
    #1 Chierro, Nov 10, 2013
  2. Chierro

    Chierro
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    Every time I post here I'm met with the same fate, and every time i question why I come back. My posts may be meaningless...but whatever...
     
    #2 Chierro, Nov 10, 2013
  3. ryanalexander61

    ryanalexander61
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    To be fair, the last time you posted concerning Matt people offered very good advice.

    You shouldn't let one friend, one message response or lack thereof get you down. It isn't fair to expect our friends to answer in the manner we want 100% of the time. I would reiterate everything that penguin and resu said in the last thread, but to be honest, it seems like you are taking things a little things a little too personal.
     
    #3 ryanalexander61, Nov 10, 2013
  4. Stoccata

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    Frankly speaking, that's just his personal reaction. I do the same thing as you; if I'm texting people and they only respond with a couple words each time, or if they continually respond with something ridiculous, I just stop replying. I've never had anyone post anything like "Glad people want to talk to me tonight!" though. Course, I let people know right off the bat that if they want to talk, then we talk. If you don't, then we don't. There's no in between. I mean, look, if you value a conversation only as much as you value watching TV at the time, I don't really want to talk to you.

    Well, it's good that you have someone like that; many people don't.

    Hmm. Well, I'm not exactly sure how to help you understand "straight" colloquialisms as you put it. You probably just haven't been exposed to them before. I mean, I'm about as straight as slinky, and I still would've understood the meaning.

    Haha. Yup, I know THAT feeling.

    Have you tried talking to him about how frustrated you are? You could always start the conversation off with "hey, can we talk somewhat serious for a sec?" And if he starts goofing around just say something like "when you're ready to grow up and talk, let me know." Might sound a bit harsh, but hey, sometimes it's the only way to let people know something's bothering you.

    Whoa. whoa, hold the phone. WHAT NOW!?!?!? Okay......yup, now I have to start reading those again. Jeez, I stop reading the series for a little over a year and all of a sudden my favorite character's gay!
     
    #4 Stoccata, Nov 10, 2013
  5. Chierro

    Chierro
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    I know I take things too personally, it's a flaw and I while admit it. And sorry I've been kind of rude about things, when I get into these sort of bouts I get really irrational. Sorry, again, I know people have had good advice and that I really haven't taken it to heart. Sorry.

    I've had friends who are like that and it annoyed which is why I'm now like you, if the other person will carry on the conversation then we can continue, if not, we don't. With Matt, idk, it just irritates me a lot more than it should...I can't explain it that well.

    I know I take it for granted sometimes, but I know that it's great that I have a friend like Matt. Many people don't have someone that they can just talk about anything I can with. Hell, just last week I couldn't wait until I got form NYC to text Matt about all the cute guys (and girls for those folks who think I only like dudes) I saw at this journalism conference. He didn't complain, he even continued the conversation.

    I haven't been exposed to them, actually I haven't been exposed to many things that guys my age have, makes me feel a tad bit of an outsider. I mean I'm nearly 17, how did I manage to miss out on some much 'vital' stuff in my teen years? I understand that a lot of straight guys only really text girls and not other guys. Not going to lie, sometimes I don't understand teenage guys.

    See...I would do that, but I feel like that may push us apart. I mean who likes people when they're so serious? I've learned to not be serious as much, I'm not too fond being serious. Unicorns and rainbows and randomness are much more interesting.

    Another Nico lover?! Finally. I've been so needing to rant about it...guess I should've given a spoiler alert though. Nico is just so amazing but he can be so sad...oh...I so want to ramble, but don't want to spoil more.
     
    #5 Chierro, Nov 11, 2013
  6. Stoccata

    Stoccata
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    I feel the same about one of my friends, too. With other people, it doesn't bother me as much, with him it bothers me quite a bit.

    Granted, it might have something to do with the fact that I have to mentally punch myself every time I see him so I don't walk up and plant a kiss on his face.........but that's another story. :icon_redf


    Definitely keep in mind that you shouldn't take his friendship for granted. True friends, I've found, are hard to come by.


    Don't stress about it too much man. I'm friends with a couple people (they're twins) who are a bit....naive, when it comes to colloquialisms as you put it. As far as I know they're both straight, but they're just a little.......innocent, for a lack of a better word.



    Well of course you can't be serious ALL the time. :icon_wink But if something's really bothering me I do drop my typical sarcasm and dry humor, and get right to the point. (Something that unfortunately happens more and more frequently these days, it seems.)

    Haha, I'm actually glad you brought that up, I probably wouldn't have found out for another year or so. :icon_bigg (Haven't had much time to read lately, but now I'll have to move it up on my priority list.)
     
    #6 Stoccata, Nov 11, 2013
  7. ClicheKHFan

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    Seriously???? That's amazing! The only percy fanfic I ever read had nico as gay, and it actually seemed like it suited him. Thats pretty awesome though if the author wrote him that way too. I'll definitely have to read it.

    As for your friend, I think you're making it a bigger deal than it really is. I hope that doesn't sound harsh.
     
    #7 ClicheKHFan, Nov 12, 2013
  8. ryanalexander61

    ryanalexander61
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    You don't have to apologize. You just have to remember: a lot of times people come on here expecting to get the answers THEY want to hear: whether it be "Yes! Your friend is gay and probably likes you" or "Yeah, your friends treating you like crap, you are totally right in this situation."

    People want to hear what they want to hear. But it is up to the objective people on here to point out that "your friend may or may not be gay, but hanging on to that hope is going to be destructive for you" or "no your friend likely isn't gay, you need to move on." (just speaking in generalities of the common threads).

    It is also important to read and think about the advice posters are giving. Even just one reply to your thread can be just the right one.


    best of luck,
     
    #8 ryanalexander61, Nov 12, 2013
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