I always hear from other girls that they like lesbians more than butches/transman. They say, what's the point of having a relationship with a butch/transman if they see themselves as a real man?I would rather settle down with a lesbian because she is still a woman. Is that true?Just wondering :eusa_doh: Naah..I'm hopeless :icon_sad:
I don't think you're hopeless at all. There are plenty of cis girls who like butch people, and there are plenty of cis girls who have been in lasting relationships with trans men, both pre-op and post-op. Beyond that, I think the best advice I can give you probably isn't a direct answer to your question. I'm a psych student, particularly of human sexuality, so I know a little bit about trans issues. I'm acquainted with a few trans men IRL, and I'm aware of some of the issues they often face while transitioning. You're at a moment where you're struggling with very personal questions. And while I think online support can be and often is very useful as a support tool, I think you might need to take it to the next level. I think the people here can and will try to help, but I don't think you'll get all the help you need. I'm not sure where you live, but assuming you live in or near a major metropolitan area, there's probably at least one support group where trans men meet and discuss issues like this. You will make it through this a lot better if you have a good support network IRL, and I encourage you to seek out people who you can talk to precisely about questions like these.
im not sure what youre asking, are you asking as you yourself a transman. you want to settle down with a lesbian rather than someone who is bi or something else? im a little confused. lesbians generally date women, not men.... sorry just confused what yore asking :s
Trans is way different than Butch. Butch women are lesbians who have male energy. They don't want to be a man. Trans people want to be the oposite sex that their body is because their brains tell them they are not that sex. Being Butch has nothing to do with being Trans.
I'm not giving up . By the way, I live somewhere in Asia. But yeah, I will check some groups to talk to. Thank you (*hug*) ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2013 at 10:17 AM ---------- Sorry for the confusion. In my own opinion, butches and transman both likes to be a guy. And lesbians has a male personality but still remains a female. Like they don't wanna transition or something like that. That's true. I apologize for my confusion with butches..
For what it's worth, I've been with my girlfriend, who is cisfemale, for almost ten months now, and me being trans hasn't hindered or compromised our relationship in any way. You're not hopeless. There's plenty of girls (of varying sexual orientations) who are completely fine with dating a transguy. Like everything else, it just takes time to find a relationship. Don't give up. I second Randomette and say it'd be best for you to find a support group of sorts and discuss these things with other trans* folk who've all probably experienced something akin to what you're feeling right now. (*hug*)
Honestly for me it wouldn't matter, but I think I'm bi, so it would be the individual person that would attract me, not necessarily the gender.
