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She makes me out to be terrible to her friends

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Tycho, Nov 13, 2013.

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  1. Tycho

    Tycho
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    My GF of over a year has apparently had issues with lately (she doesn't tell me this tho) while I've been busy with work, and she has been telling her friends excerpts from our convos that make me out to be a complete immature dick. And they've been telling her to end our relationship as a result.

    She seems to enjoy playing victim when I've done nothing wrong and after our latest fight we're "okay" again but I can't help but have this nag at me at the back of my head everytime we're intimate. Thing is I shouldn't know how she has been portraying me if it wasn't for one of our mutuals telling me this. To my face she denies any of the sort when I allude to her having issues with me, and acts happy as anything.

    Not sure what to do here, or how to just get her to admit to it. Like all my friends are overseas while she has plenty so I'm all alone while she paints this shitty inaccurate picture of me and I have noone to rant to or anything, and my feelings are torn. I love her but hate this. :icon_sad:
     
    #1 Tycho, Nov 13, 2013
  2. Nyarlathotep

    Nyarlathotep
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    I would say that you should sit her down and confront her about all this, don't let her evade or anything, and have a list of specific instances in your head so she can't say she doesn't know what you're talking about. That seems to me to be the logical thing to do to just talk out you're feelings with her and how she's been talking about you, but, being in the closet myself, I've never had a relationship so maybe this is bad advice
     
    #2 Nyarlathotep, Nov 13, 2013
  3. resu

    resu
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    You know how people really feel about you by how they talk when you're not around. You've been together for a year, so you shouldn't have to hide your concerns. How long are you going to let her say negative things behind your back? Once she knows you're aware of what's going on, you should give her a chance to make amends. It's hard to say there will be a positive outcome from the confrontation.
     
    #3 resu, Nov 13, 2013
  4. Tycho

    Tycho
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    I'm not sure she'd do well with a confrontation, I "shouldn't" know, so she'd probably turn it around into something my fault. Like I've bought up the whole "your friends probably hate me, think im shit etc" kinda thing but it doesn't go far. I had a freak out because to me she says she loves me to bits but her friend is telling her to break up with me, so clearly she is saying something much different to them.
    I had a feeling there was something up a few weeks ago when they were acting wierdly when they came into my work and just seemed strange, so I'm not sure how this two faced thing has been going on.
    To my face she seems genuine about the feelings, there's a lot of passion here, so maybe she just likes playing the victim/the attention from playing it up to her friends?
     
    #4 Tycho, Nov 15, 2013
  5. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    "I'm not sure she'd do well with a confrontation, I "shouldn't" know, so she'd probably turn it around into something my fault."

    She needs confronting and if she;;s going to play it off like its your fault then WHY would you want to stay with her? As Resu says, how long is she going to make you out to be a bad guy to everyone while you suffer in silence before you decide enough is enough?
     
    #5 BookDragon, Nov 15, 2013
  6. toushirojaylee

    toushirojaylee
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    You need to talk to her about this. I can relate because my ex gf made me the worst bf ever in her friends eyes..eventhough the truth is, she is the one who's cheating on me..:-s
     
    #6 toushirojaylee, Nov 15, 2013
  7. kumawool

    kumawool
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    Talk to her about it, and be open. If you can't work it out together, maybe it's time to start looking at choosing choices for yourself that will create an opportunity for a healthier relationship in the future.
     
    #7 kumawool, Nov 15, 2013
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