I have a friend who is bi, and I'm wondering if she may like me. I currently have a boyfriend and haven't actually been with a girl before (she actually wasn't 100% sure I liked girls until I confirmed it sometime last month) so she may not be straight-forward about it for these reasons? (I really can't tell when people like me.) Sorry in advance if this is kind of long. We stayed in the same room at this anime convention we went to, along with many other LGBT friends (it can be hard for a lot of us to stay in rooms of just one gender because some get weird about our orientation or what they identify as, so we usually all grab a room together) and two friends brought alcohol. I don't drink, but on saturday night a LOT of people in the room were drinking (probably more than they should have) and late at night when she was leaving to go somewhere in the convention and I was getting some stuff together in the room, she suddenly said to me (keep in mind she was pretty wasted) "You should kiss me before the night is over, while I still have the guts to ask you." I had no idea what to say to that xD I don't know if that was something she honestly wanted for some reason and her being drunk just made her honest, or if she was just drunk and being silly/not thinking properly. I'd consider her a pretty flirty person, sometimes seriously but often she joke-flirts with people. So it's hard to say, you know? The next day, me and her were holding hands and talking (I hold hands with a lot of my close friends- i'm just a very touchy-affectionate person) and she suddenly told me (she was sober) that she had a big crush when she first met me. She told me a little bit about how she felt when she met me (this was a little over a year ago) and then somehow we ended up on a different topic. Since then, when hanging out, I've noticed little things she says. Like, when a group of us were going to the movies she made a point to state she really wanted to sit by me, and a group of us are having a sleepover tonight and in our group chat on facebook, the person who's house it was at said that there wasn't a lot of room, so some of us will need to share beds/couches. She then quickly replied "I call dibs on _____" (me). On the way home from the movies in the car, her and another friend were talking about how one of our friends, Mason, seems to be flirting with me. I tol them i really didn't think so, that's just how he talks, etc. But they weren't so sure. Later in the car, he happened to text me and I told him I'd reply in a couple minutes, as currently I was a little freaked because the person driving us was SERIOUSLY speeding. He replied "Omg be safe precious flower" (this is just kinda how he talks to me because he only jokes how i'm the fragile, innocent one of the group) and the friend this topic is about ended up asking for my phone, and she replied "I'm safe, I'm with ____" (Her name) It's a lot of things like this. I can't tell if it's joking or part of her flirty nature or if there is something more there and she may be seriously interested in me? Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over 2 years so if she did like me, I don't think she'd expect anything to happen so it's very possible she wouldn't actually say it. But is she dropping hints?? Let me know what you all think. Thanks
I'm by no means an expert with this sort of thing... but it sounds to me like she does like you. For me, when I have a crush, it doesn't just go away for no reason. So, if she told you she had a crush on you, then maybe she does still like you. Maybe she is withholding herself because you are currently dating someone. Is it possible she thinks she may have a chance with you if you break up with your boyfriend? How strong is your relationship with him right now? (You don't have to answer that, I'm just mostly wondering what she thinks.)
To be honest, I started crushing on her a little bit just before all this. It all gets kinda complicated with me having a boyfriend, but I guess it comes down to I've been seriously doubting, despite how much i love him, if I should be with a guy. The physical attraction I've always assumed would show up eventually never really has, and it makes physical stuff awkward a lot of the time. Though, from dating him (we started dating before I realized just how much i like girls) for all this time, I have come to love him. I really have. But...I can't really imagine me ever falling for a uy again, if we did break up. And I'm starting to question if I can even keep this up, because I think what I really want is a girl :/ She recently discovered how much i'm questioning about our relationship and my sexuality, so I suppose it's possible she thinks she has a chance at me. (And she does have one. I've thought it may be one of those random crushes that you aren't even sure you want to date, but you get butterflies talking to them and it lasts like a week and then it's gone. But i find myself thinking about her more and more, so if this keeps up I'll probably need to talk to my boyfriend about how I'm feeling ><)
I think it's definitely likely that she has a crush on you. That being said, you also need to take care of yourself because you don't want to rush into a relationship at any time. Good luck!
Hmm... that is an awkward situation. I know what it's like to feel torn two ways. Maybe talking to your boyfriend about how you're feeling is the best option. If you guys have an open and honest relationship like that where you tell each other things, then it's best not to leave him in the dark. There may be some hurt feelings and heart ache, but at least you can get things out in the open and maybe find out more about your feelings while you're at it. I say talk to him and tell him basically what you told me. Say how much you've come to love him and how the key problem here is your orientation and you're not sure what to do. Maybe he'll understand Whatever you decide to do, I hope things move forward and you're not stuck in this confusing loop of emotions for too much longer. It's a stressful thing! It's best to make something new happen, just to break the pattern.
At our slumber party she was really clingy to me and kept being like "Hey guys, she's mine, you know that right??" and she was tipsy but she kept saying stuff related to wanting to be with me, and never "joked" like this about anyone else. I asked one of our other friends if they thought she was serious, and she said they've talked and that she is serious about me >///< Things are kind of complicated now, i guess. I do like her. But, I am honestly happy with my boyfriend, and i'm in love with him. However, I feel guilty having a bit of a rush on someone else. And though it's perfectly possible said crush may go away, I think it's getting to me so much because it's a girl, and thoguh I think I prefer girls, I have yet to be with one. So there is a part of me that really really craves being with a girl. My boyfriend is coming over today. I don't know if I have the guts to bring this up, even though we are always open and honest with each other. This just seems like too much. Like, how do you tell the person you're with that you're also into someone else? That's just not right, it makes me feel sick. :/
