Hey everyone! So recently my boyfriend and I got this program that allowed us to pretty much use each other's computer from home. He went to sleep once and I got on his, just to kinda play around. I ended up going through some of his skype chats and other stuff because I was curious if he was talking to someone else like he would to me (flirty like). I found one. I was so sad and mad that I lost control of myself and went through the rest trying to find stuff. He figured out that I did it and explained everything to me. It was a guy that wanted my boyfriend to break up with me so they could be together, but my bf was loyal. He stayed with me and disregarded the other guy that was ever so flirty. But then the subject of trust came up... I messed up, and went through his personal computer files even though we both agreed neither of us would do that... He said he forgives me because he loves me, and that is great, but I feel so guilty... I've deleted my account and the program that allowed us to use each other's computers, but I still feel SOO guilty! What can I do to make it up to him? He says he forgives me and that all that I should do is just stay with him and he'll be happy, but there needs to be something more... I know the guilt will always be there, but he's my soul mate, and I can't let that big of a mistake go off so easily. I need to do something for him, something romantic, and nice to show my sorrow and how I feel, do you guys have any idea?
Oh and another detail, the guy that was trying to break us up... I'm not trying to but anythin on my bf, but he never really unfriended him on FB, stopped talking to him, or anything... Personally if someone tried to break him and me up, I would say no and get that person away from my life... He knows that this guy makes me feel like shit, I just wish he would do more about it :/
Not in the way that we usually flirt with each other I guess. They both have always been kinda flirty. He explained it all to me and I trust he isn't doing anything with him right now. Is there anything I can do to prove my sorrow to him? I feel so guilty...
There's a difference between serious flirting and joke-flirting, for what it's worth. I joke-flirt with some others sometimes. It's very obvious that there is no actual intent, though. You shouldn't need to prove your sorrow to him. Just remember this and what you did, and try not to do it again, as with all mistakes. However, this issue of mistrust may come up again, either in this relationship or in other ones, and it's good to try to ascertain as to what factors contributed to it. It could've just been you and any potential insecurities, or perhaps he was acting somewhat shady, or perhaps it was a mix of both factors.
I only did it because the other guy is always so flirty flirty with him and I hate it. My bf does not fall into it with him though. He is the most caring, amazing man I've ever met. He would never do something to hurt me like that. He knows how much I worry about it all, it's been brought up several times. He hasn't left me due to it. During one of our text chats: Him "You know I will always forgive you." Me ":/ why though... I've fucked up so many times" Him "Because I love you...?" If he was truly with somebody else, he wouldn't have wasted 7 months on me so far, and counting, he wouldn't have said what I put. If he didn't truly like me and only me, he wouldn't be with me still. He's an amazing man. And I just feel like I need some way to show my sorrow to him... I invaded his privacy on his PC... He just blew it off. I don't want to lose the trust he has in me... I need to show him that I do trust him..
If you've already had a serious discussion about it and you've owned up to having invaded his privacy, and he's forgiven you, that's probably the main thing that matters here. Second to that, you need to work on your own jealousy issues, or you *will* kill the relationship. Jealousy stems from insecurity, which stems from a fundamental belief that you aren't good enough, that you aren't deserving of the relationship you have. So you need to work on understanding why you think that way, and work through that. Otherwise, some variation of the same behavior is going to reappear, and he may not be as forgiving next time.
Also, perhaps rethink your security ideas...giving someone you know online access to your PC? I can't be the only one thinking this...
