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so my parents want to send me to a therapist...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by an arabic gay, Nov 15, 2013.

  1. an arabic gay

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    Heyy there everyone
    Its my first post here and i was hoping for some advise...
    So im 16 now, i live in lebanon (it's an arabic country) and my parents recently talked to me about whether or not im gay...
    Ive come to accept this part of me about two years ago and im out to my two best friends, who were super supportive btw.
    So my mom is basically being a cold bitch towards me, and my dad is just straight up acting like nothing happened...
    So what should i do now? Im trying to "act straight" but its not really working. Any advise?
     
  2. kumawool

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    Go to see the therapist, it's highly likely that the therapist will seek to empower you, and possibly work on increasing the communication between you and your parents.

    Also consider options for where to go in the future... you have the ability to be refuge in several countries, you can also move someday, or be successful where you live, all without your parents -- if they ever become too terrible, you can become self sufficient and live your own life.

    Please always stay a strong person --- and remember that you have so many people that just want the best for you :slight_smile:.
     
  3. John2013

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    I would move as soon as you reach the right age. Going to a therapist will not make you straight.

    Your parents will accept you with time. I know it can be difficult in an Arabic country, but Lebanon is not that extreme, I would say...
     
  4. English Frenchman

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    Well, let’s not forget here, this is Lebanon we’re dealing with. A country I personally love a great deal and have visited enough times to say I’ve gotten a bit of a grasp on what the people are like.
    I personally have gay lebanese friends who live in Beirut. However, they live away from their parents who live here in Africa and they know nothing about their children. Lebanon is still an Islamic country and homosexuality isn’t very accepted. I think the therapist who encourages you and empowers you would be an exceptional thing to find there. As many gay lebanese as I know I also know countless homophobic ones. I hear names like “keleb”, “hayawan” or even “khurra” being used to describe them. I won’t translate because it’s not very pleasant.
    My gay friends there have told me they’ve been told “Moy ayre” or “Elif ayre ab tizik”. Again, not pleasant things.

    However, I agree that the OP needs to stay a very strong person. Beirut, as I seem to remember, has a growing gay community. One of my friends is even a writer for an LGBT magazine there.
    So don’t ever feel like you’re on your own. Stay strong my friend.
     
  5. bingostring

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    Hi AnArabicGay ... and welcome to EC.

    There are a number of people from the Middle East on EC and I hope you get to meet them and get their advice also.

    If the therapist is professional and unbiased and is there for you (i.e.: has not been instructed to make you straight) then they could be useful to you. However, if they are instructed by your parents to change you - be very careful as this could be problematic.

    Your father's 'non-reaction' may be his (man) way of expressing the fact that he doesn't really have a problem with it ?

    It is great that you have two friends who have accepted you. Do you have any other support people where you are? Gay friends or just supportive friends or relatives? Better for you not to face this alone and I would recommend you get a group of people you trust in real life.

    And do use EC for as much advice you feel you want - we are here to help !

    :thumbsup:
     
  6. resu

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    I agree that the therapists is also likely to hold conservative values like most Lebanese, and so it might not be helpful (and your parents probably chose one who specifically could "cure the gay").

    Also, I would say your father is probably in denial rather than having no problem with it, but only you can know for sure.

    The main thing is to just hang in there while you still live with your parents. When you're an adult, you will be free to do what you want.
     
  7. DesertTortoise

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    Find freinds.. gay or supportive. find a supportive network. You're in hostile teritory. Find your alies.