Hey, could use some advice from people who may have been through this type of thing before. Either getting over serious affection or handling online or long distance relationships. I will try keep this as brief and to the point as possible (I know I can talk about this subject for a long time, being as complex as it is) 9 years ago I met this guy playing an online game, we became friends and started talking on MSN (now Skype). He told me he was gay about 6 months after I met him and he said he had a bit of a crush on me. Which I thought was sweet, it didn't bother me and in no way interested me. We both moved on to being friends. Several years later, we are still good friends, and talk almost every other day. One thing that has changed though is I have a really huge crush on him now. He is the first, and only male I've thought of in a romantic or intimate way. I've felt strongly towards him for about 8 months now. I have such a enormous desire to be with him, in a serious romantic (not purely sexual) fashion. To be in a relationship with him, to be his boyfriend. I think about him all the time, I often think about him being here with me, along side me in all elements of my life. Even the really mundane everyday things. I really want to be with him, though I know for the following reasons I will never have what I want... He lives in a different country. He's not interested in a monogamous relationship. (Which I couldn't handle) Knowing this sort of hurts but even so, I can't stop wanting it. I've tried to reason it all out, come to a clear conclusion in my mind and tell myself to move on. I thought in time I would be able to, or that my affection towards him would start to fade, instead I find it growing. I've never felt this way about anyone before, or been in a relationship, for that matter... I never expected to be in this position either, I always though things would be much more obvious. I'm really at a loss. Should I *eventually* just get over it, will I wake up one morning and be ok with the way things are? Can anyone provide any type of advice or insight?
Well it's my first ever reply here . I kinda feel related to your case . Because I'm in a online- long distance relationship right now . It's definitely not for anyone . But I'm sure if you want it enough you can handle it . Firstly , Have you ever thought of "coming out" to him ? Just tell him how you feel ? He's gay so he might get it better. Then if you can go further , you might try to see him in person . You know , there is a huge difference between your thoughts about him online and the real chemical . I often try to see people I have online crush on as soon as possible . So I will know about my feeling better . Don't try to run away from your feeling m just sit back and figure it out . You will be OK.
Thanks for the reply. I should have put this in the original post I guess it's important. I have told him that I am interested in him. He didn't seem opposed to the comment or anything. He just said that he's afraid he can't be what I need. I assumed that was in relation to him not being a one man person, he knows that's important to me. (It's something we'd spoken about at length in the past) It seems strange but maybe if he just laughed the idea off or said he has no interest in me it would be easier for me to move on. He has said he wants to come to Australia to meet me when he's able, though honestly I don't know that I can wait for an unknown amount of time in order to get some more insight or closure on my feelings. It's a very difficult thing to wrap my mind around.
