I am in love with my straight best friend

I know there are similar like this but this is little different I would say. I am 34 years old and I have always like women ever since I was 12 years old. I know my best friend for the last 19 years (will be 20 years next year). We met through in high school. We are pretty close back in high school. I always sleepover her house every weekend since we both lived in small town. She is straight and virgin. Anyway I remember one specific night is that she and I were played around and all giggles and then she got mad at something and pushed me on bed and got top on me....at that moment I had this overwhelmed feeling like my heart is racing and I so much wanted to touch her and as for her she got red face and stare each other for awhile but then it stopped. I have touched her leg, just holding on her leg and she didn't' say anything and somewhat held my hand. So after we both finished high school and we have went our separate ways and lost in touch for couple of years then we had reunited once again. My feeling for her came back and we have hang out alot and we still fooling around to play like tickles and all. She knew that I like women and accepted me for who I am. Then her mum passed away two years ago and she needed me and I flew to her town and be there for her whatever she need me. We had fool around with tickles, hide our stuff not to get it. I don't do like that to my other friends and either does she. I have got top on her and stroke her face and her face went red. The feeling had gotten so much stronger. Then I started having those sexual though about her. I then started flirted with her for couple of months now....close to a year I would say. She did flirted with me even she said she didn't but I got a feeling she does. We live in different states now and we talk online very daily. She sometimes said I need try to do less talk with you so I can sleep more for my job but she seem to can't stay away from me to talk online. lol I have lost the count that I am this close going to tell her how I really feel for her that I am falling for her. But I am so afraid to lose her I mean we have been friends for so many years and we had our ups/downs. But damn it I really love her.

Here is a thing she is 35 years old and still VIRGIN. She never date or never kiss. She never done anything (she is not religious). I have been wondering why she kept this way not to get to experience like we all do. She would avoid my question so I leave it alone then finally one day she told me why she can't have sex that she have Vulvodynia. She is very embarrassed to have it but I have told her I don't judge her and we all women go through different type stuff that we have to deal with. Her condition is critical but I have read those up and there are way to have sexual. She seem to be more comfortable around me. We have talked about being roommate that I will move in with her. So here is a thing should I tell her how I feel about her before I move in with ehr? I might regret that I could make move on her but I don't want to lose the friendship or having her feeling awkward toward me. So she doesn't know how to make move since she never done anything before. I don't know what to do!

 

Oh I forgot to add one more thing I just remember. We were teasing each other that fantasy was brought up and she would say the only fantasy of mine is sexual. Usually she freaked out to talk about sex in the past (when she was in her 20's) but on that night she was all curious what kind of my fantasy is and we go on for hours about it how I like it and what turned me on. Then she say so that turn you on and all that. Man she is always giving me mixed messages and I am just confused as hell. But I do know one thing is that I am falling for her.