I've read countless accounts on here of people who have straight friends who have come to some point in the road where they question their friends sexual orientation. But my story is a bit different and I don't know what to do now. My best friend and I have known each other for ten years and have been extremely close for around eight. He's known I was gay since the get go, and he's always been so supportive. I started to have feelings for him slowly, and I'm a very open person so I told him. He told me he was extremely flattered, but that he was straight. He's only had one girlfriend -- a girl I set him up with. They lasted about 7 months (August 2010 - January 2011 around my birthday), and when they finally called it quits, it was a weekend we were going away for my birthday, and I wasn't expecting him to act happy or put on a face, I knew how he was really feeling and I had no problem being there for him. He told me one of the main reasons they broke up is because he thought he had been neglecting our friendship and they had been arguing about me, which ultimately made me feel like shit, but I was flattered. We talked basically my entire birthday weekend, not even leaving the ski lodge cabin once -- nothing happened, just talk. Over the next 6 months, it had been the closest we'd EVER been. It was crazy, we hung out basically every day, and usually it's just the weekends. In June, on the last day of my sophomore year, at like 11PM he texted me that he had had feelings for a while and that he wanted me to be his first -- ever. So after a few days of very intense conversation, we concluded that I was going to sleep over the night of his sisters high school graduation party. That night was magically -- straight outta one of my dreams -- we did everything & he kept saying he loved me. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. For the next few weeks, secretly, we had a real relationship, but one day, it just stopped, he stopped providing advances and started rejecting mine, explaining that he was straight, and liked girls, acting like none of it ever happened. I had to pinch myself because I thought I was dreaming. It's been 3 years since, and we've never talked about it again, (even though there were a couple instances where he would tell me how horny he was & I should come over, which I didn't do.) but we're still best friends. He has told me over and over that he didn't like any girls at school (he's a senior in high school and I'm a freshmen in college now). Some days I just wanna kiss him. Some nights -- real late when I know he's asleep (cause he doesn't respond, even in the morning) I text him how much I care about him and think about him. I think I love him, and I do not know what to do. -dan
