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Is it wrong to compare with other siblings?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Ticklish Fish, Nov 18, 2013.

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  1. Ticklish Fish

    Ticklish Fish
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    This is just a general question thread for everyone, is it wrong to compare myself with my older sister?

    I have dislike and i guess hatred with my family (mom and sister) for a while now and it's been bothering me. As much as I would want to post in EC, I am afraid I would scare people if I wrote it too detail because I took so much time hindsight/thinking events/analyzing family from my perspectives, and I feel like my problems aren't too comparable to people and I am a whiny bitch.

    So let's get back to the thread, is it wrong to compare myself to sibling? Or rather, to BE compared to my siblings even though my mom keep telling me to not compare myself to my sister? I know that I haven't given much information, but it's just general question thread.

    I'll probably see what response I have and go from there
     
    #1 Ticklish Fish, Nov 18, 2013
  2. resu

    resu
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    It's not wrong, but it can be unhealthy to compare yourself to anyone else, including siblings. The problem is that you are a unique person, and there will always be things that you can do better or worse than others. If you feel you should be able to do something, you should really focus on self-development.
     
    #2 resu, Nov 18, 2013
  3. Ticklish Fish

    Ticklish Fish
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    Well, what about being constantly told "not to compare with sibling" when you bring up the comparison, and then always given examples of "how sibling is doing things better than how you're doing things"?
     
    #3 Ticklish Fish, Nov 18, 2013
  4. Ticklish Fish

    Ticklish Fish
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    bumping for more response
     
    #4 Ticklish Fish, Nov 19, 2013
  5. justjade

    justjade
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    I think it's very unhealthy. I used to compare myself to my sister a lot. She's always gotten better grades, got a higher score on her ACT, graduated college early with not one, but two bachelor's degrees..... But then I realized that I have things that she doesn't. I have common sense and am perfectly happy with who I am where she isn't. I've realized who I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way. She's still struggling to find out. And she didn't even use her degrees to get a job that pays well. The truth is that everyone is different. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. We're all just people.
     
    #5 justjade, Nov 20, 2013
  6. TJ

    TJ
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    While it might be okay for your parents to say, "Okay, he's doing well here when she didn't," and "she did well here when he's not," you should not be held or hold yourself to their standard.

    While you are siblings, you're not the same person.
    You have different interests, different career choices, and a different personality. Hell, you're also a boy and she's a girl.

    My parents didn't hold me to either of my brothers' standards, and I would never compare myself to my older brother. We're totally different.
    He scored incredibly high on the ACT, got into Northwestern University, graduated summa cum laude, and is going to Medical school now. I, on the other hand, care less about academics (but still get A's) and more about the community, and I have chosen to go into firefighting.

    If you're comparing how successful you are in life, don't.


    It matters more that you try your hardest and push yourself than compare yourself to someone you're not.

    Hopefully this answers something. If it doesn't, I'll answer more tonight.
     
    #6 TJ, Nov 20, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2013
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