So I've been in love with a straight guy since September, and we aren't friends. I can't seem to sense if someone is gay, but my friend supposedly can. I was talking to her on iMessage earlier, and this is part of the conversation- Sara- "I've been around gay people my ENTIRE life and I shit you not" Me- "idk.. maybe its just.. idk" Sara- "Honestly, this is what I feel.. Chris to me does seem gay, and he's hiding his feelings, or he's finding himself.. Not everyone knows how they feel about certain things, it takes time and experience.. Chris just never had a gay experience" Me- "How does he seem gay? because all the guys i thought was gay ended up straight as a ruler.. idk why i can't sense that" Sara- "Just the way he acts, the way I see him, he seems gay to me" Now, can someone actually sense if a guy is gay? I'm shaking right now, thinking i might actually have a choice!
Yes. It's not a mysterious radar/sonar thing, though. It's more about being able to piece together hints/clues that someone isn't straight (Body language, eyes, voice). Probably the easiest way to try to consciously use it is to compare one's behaviour when they're around someone they're attracted to versus when they're around people that they're not attracted to. For example, I'm more shy and nervous around guys in general, and especially around guys I'm attracted to, versus when I'm around girls. I'm just easily comfortable around them. My voice is likely different around different people, too, and you can tell that I look at guys more than girls if you were to watch my eyes without me noticing (If someone were to notice, I'd revert my attention back to some random object or onto something random). However, not everyone is so easy to read. As for whether your friend is right... Who knows?
Yes and I find that girls in particular are really good at it. My gaydar is spot on only if I don't have romantic feelings for the guy.
I think I'm decent, but I spend way too much time thinking about what other people are thinking (metacognition). I agree that one of the best methods is to see how a guy looks and responds to an attractive guy. I think [straight] girls are good because they are used to guys normally fawning over them, and so they can tell when a guy is "acting like a girl" because he's showing more interest in guys than girls.
I have to agree in that it seems like girls have an easier time picking up on it, from personal experience at least. Only one person has asked me directly. I was hitting up the WiFi at this food place a few months ago maybe(?) on a rainy night and this girl and her friend came in because they were waiting on her bf, I think, to come and help them with their car problem. We had talked for a bit and at some point she asked me if I was gay. I of course denied it but I couldn't help but wonder what made a random stranger like her ask that. It was in a curious sort of way rather than nosy, like I had given off some vibe I was unaware of.
I don't know my sisters never thought i was gay so yeah... Anyway i'm afraid i give off that vibe sometimes though.
Yes I believe that people have gaydars. I believe that I have a really good gaydar, and that I'm actually right 90% of the time - that other 10% is when someone is super femmy, but is actually straight.
The eyes are the windows to the soul. Wow. I think people with squinty ones get away with more than do those with larger ones as far as revealing what's going on inside their heads, and that includes what they're looking at. The thing with the eyes is both the intensity with which one looks at someone and that extra nanosecond too long. It's all there. ---------- Post added 22nd Nov 2013 at 12:01 AM ---------- This works if the attractive guy is his type. If the attractive guy is not his type, he won't get caught with his hands (I mean eyes) in the cookie jar. But if the person is his type, his eye contact and skittishness will increase. That's another ingredient - skittishness.
Gaydar is definitely real, but there are a very tiny number of people that, for whatever reason, don't set off anyone's gaydar. Whether it's an energy or intuition, a combination of attributes, behaviors, stereotypical likes/dislikes, or other factors is still up for debate, but whatever it is, I know a lot of people with good gaydar, and a couple whose gaydar is flawlessly accurate.
Just found out my guess for a young (freshman?) guy who has started riding my bus was correct. He posted a personals ad (though one just for friendship, not sex) with his photo. Actually, it's quite sweet that he's only looking for friends because he does look shy and nice (not like some guys who almost have a hungry, desperate look in their eyes). I kind of want to talk to him to give him support as he starts out in school, but that would mean coming out and the fear that someone I know might see us talking.
there are studies that people can often tell just by looking at someone if they're gay or straight with pretty good accuracy, however the studies aren't more conclusive than that, they don't really know what it is that sets it off just that something sets it off. I myself have no gaydar whatsoever although people have asked me if i'm gay before or said that they thought i was gay at one time although generally they seem to think i'm straight the more they get to know me, which i find ironic
Aww, you should at least befriend him since that is what he is looking for/needs. If I were over there, I'd hang with you both because I could use some more support as well.
I have the gift of awesome gaydar, and I don't know how I do it. For example, I met a girl recently and something told me she isn't straight. I was right - she's bisexual. She is not stereotypical at all (except maybe for her short hair, but even then it is a feminine haircut). This happens to me all the time, like a little buzz that goes off in my head saying 'LGBT person alert!'
