My girlfriend is straight and I need some help.

if youre looking to move in together i would nore than likely think she is serious about you.
4 years is a long time to date someone if you arent 'sure' imo anyway. she seems pretty sure of you tbh. you just seem to have a lot of doubts though, sounds like maybe its coming from her wanting to move in with you maybe? thats a big step in any relationship and can make you doubt your relationship if youre not ready. but even if you are ready thatstep is always scary.

have you spoken to her about your gender issues? maybe you just need to speak to her.

i think everyone now and then can think i wonder if im missing out on more here but they dont do anything becuase what they have is good and they dont want to lose it. no matter your sexuality you might get tempted every now and then to be like what am i missing? but never do anything about it becuase you love the person youre with. you just have to trust the fact that she says she loves you. if you keeo worrying and cant trust her word then its not going to end well, becuase your worrying will solve nothing in the long run really :\

i personally wouldnt date someone who identified as straight to still keep having that label i would feel like i didnt matter... idk i guess im just a weirdo :|

idk if any of this helped either, its really late here sorry lol.

 

I think its fine for someone to identify as straight while dating someone of the same sex, but I also think that anyone who does that could also validly identify as bisexual. There really is a grey area between the two where someone is mostly attracted to one sex, but could date the other in certain exceptional circumstances, and your girlfriend seems to fall into this category.

So if I can go ahead and non-validating think of her as somewhere on the bisexual spectrum, I'd have to say most bi people I know are perfectly capable of maintaining a relationship with one gender only, even when they haven't had experience with the other. In this case, if she considers you an "exception" to her heterosexuality, that must mean there's something she finds pretty exceptional about you that makes it all worth her while.

 

It has been four years, so the lable should not matter. I think your odds are as good as anyone out here. It has worked for four years and you want to move ahead, so why borrow trouble? It is not how you identify, but how you act. I could technically go with Bi, but I choose lesbian because I am not attracted to males that way, and never really have been. However, I have been with males and was married. Also, I fully agree that there could be that one exception to the rule and I could fall hard(if I were not madly in love with my wife that is LOL). Life is odd. She obviously does not want to change her label and that is ok. It is how she treats you that matters.

 

Whether or not she has had experience in the past shouldn't matter, but then why does she identify as straight? It's not anyone's job to police anyone else's orientation, but then again labels mean something. They aren't just meaningless words. And you ARE a female (or so I assumed). If I were in your shoes and my girlfriend invalidated my gender continuously, I would be a little confused. Have a frank conversation with her, since this is clearly bothering you.