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Homophobic friend asked me if I want to go on a date with a guy she knows...shit!

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by sammy1, Nov 21, 2013.

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  1. sammy1

    sammy1
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    Ok so like the title says, this was thru a text and I havnt answered her yet because I JUST received the text now. When I read the message my heart actually skipped a beat because this is my friend who thinks gay women and men are 'discusting'. I don't know the first thing about dating I think it's like you go out for coffee and talk to each other to see if you are compatable. That just seems like a very uncomfortable situation since I do not know this person and I do not like eating across from complete strangers. I wish she hadn't asked me that because now I can't sleep and I don't know how to reply. I honestly don't know how she has no clue about me being gay after all these years she knows I have never dated or kissed or had sex with a guy. I have probly dropped many hints to her before about being gay but obviously she missed the signs or hints...ugh, the thing is I can't just come out to her because I think there is a 98% chance that she will hate me if I tell her that I'm gay and u may think to yourself 'if she doesn't accept you, you are not really her friend' but I do need her as a friend for certain reasons. So thanks for reading and maybe someone can give me ideas on how to reply without having to come out to her.
     
    #1 sammy1, Nov 21, 2013
  2. BookDragon

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    "Nah I'm good" seems like a perfectly acceptable response...
     
    #2 BookDragon, Nov 21, 2013
  3. GeeLee

    GeeLee
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    Say you have a prior engagement (dentist, shopping, Spanish inquisition etc) and leave it at that.
     
    #3 GeeLee, Nov 21, 2013
  4. sammy1

    sammy1
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    Yah, I guess, hopefully she accepts that response and ends the conversation right away instead of asking 'why' like I think she will :bang:
     
    #4 sammy1, Nov 21, 2013
  5. BookDragon

    BookDragon
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    If she asks why, you just don't want to. It's not like you HAVE to be in a relationship.
     
    #5 BookDragon, Nov 21, 2013
  6. Fiddledeedee

    Fiddledeedee
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    "I'd like to find someone for myself. Thanks for the opportunity, but I don't want to go around dating lots of people I don't know because friends suggest it."
     
    #6 Fiddledeedee, Nov 21, 2013
  7. Gipsy

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    If you do happen to say that you just don't want to, possibly she might get the idea later on that you don't like guys (then again she sounds oblivious to your hints but who knows) or just don't want to pursue them at all, and honestly if she finds you weird for not wanting to, then that's her dilemma. You need to find a friend you know can back you up when she finds out, if ever. That's really a shame she's your only "trustworthy" friend.
     
    #7 Gipsy, Nov 21, 2013
  8. Silver Sparrow

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    All the above. If she insists on knowing, make some random weird story up that will freak her out enough to not ask again.
     
    #8 Silver Sparrow, Nov 21, 2013
  9. Tightrope

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    You don't have to, and should not, go and you don't have to lose the friend. Any kind of excuse is valid. Down the road, you may outgrow this friend, though. I'm amazed that this kind of mentality, like that of your friend, exists among 20-somethings in Canada, of all places.
     
    #9 Tightrope, Nov 21, 2013
  10. stumble along

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    No one expects the Spanish inquisition
     
    #10 stumble along, Nov 21, 2013
  11. sammy1

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    Thanks for the comments everyone :slight_smile: she didn't mention it today so I'm not gonna say anything to her about it till she brings it up again and if she does I'll just say somthing like: I don't think dating is my thing and plus I don't know him and that just seems like an uncomfortable situation for me. I'm sure I'll think of some excuse when the time comes lol

    ---------- Post added 21st Nov 2013 at 08:45 PM ----------
     
    #11 sammy1, Nov 21, 2013
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