The other night I went out with a few friends, after going to a sushi bar it was pretty late so we started basically bar crawling. Which any other night would of been ok if I remembered I can't drink rhum without it killing my mental control over my body, more specifically if I remembered Mojito had rhum in it. Moreover the bar tender of one of the bars we were at was smashed and made my mojito 70% rhum, I shrugged it off drank it, then ordered another. By the time I drank that I was peppy enough to chat up the bar tender and he made us all royal Mojitos on the house. Then, I was pretty much smashed myself, started saying a load of crap and acting really effeminate. Come one part, one of my friends said "bisou" and pointed at her cheek so I kissed it, then the other asked what about her, so I kissed her, save she didn't turn present her cheek, this basically led to me french kissing her. I never normally kiss girls, I find it awkward, and as Katy Perry said "It felt so wrong" it didn't "feel so right". I sent a long text saying sorry, she said no problem laughing it off and that she had a good soirée. When I saw her the first time after, as you may know in France people do the "bises" thing, where they cheek to cheek kiss to greet people, she went around the table and greeted everyone save me, I understand completely that if she had feelings she could be hurt, so I don't begrudge her whatsoever, nonetheless after she started talking to me as if nothing was up. Now I can understand wanting to avoid people if you [to cut to the chase] have no chance being with them, but if you go to the same faculty, it's very difficult and uneasy (I already have this awkwardness with one of my ex') The day after when saying bye to my friends after class' I noticed she was sitting at a table, head low looking at her phone, now for a moment I didn't see her, as was intended I guess, so I continued talking as if I hadn't seen her and by the time I finished talking and was about to go, I noticed she was hiding her face and hugging one of her friends, crying. Previously to this, I was completely unaware of her feelings. I'm angry, but not angry at her whatsoever, I'm angry at the fact this is absolutely far from the first time people have gotten hurt because of me and I'm fed up with people getting hurt. This was one of the reasons breaking up with my bf hit me so hard this summer and why I shut of from people. I just can't deal with this anymore. Now I previously posted here and it helped me to mend bridges with my friends, but now I'm starting to think they are just too broken. I know I want to move, there are too many bad memories and hurt people here, from school years to the present date. Questions; Do I try and fix things with this girl? She's not a direct friend that I see all the time, but the childhood friend of my best female friend. Needless to say I need to say no to the guy I'm crushing on who's also one of their childhood friends, who's hitting on me and has asked me a few times if I wanted to meet up with him despite him being in a relationship himself. I actually think I'm just going to go buy myself a pet shrink. :icon_sad:
If you are out and it was at a watering hole and you kissed her under the context of horsing around, I don't think she was hurt. However, if she thinks you're hot, then maybe she might be slightly disappointed she can't have you. I think her handling it, that next time, shows some possible awkwardness on her part. My recommendation is that you act like nothing happened and just act kind of indifferent when she's around. It will either be something that is uncomfortable for her, if she didn't look at this through a good set of lenses, or she might come back around to being her normal self. That's one thing I don't like. A woman's making herself available to you in a playful sort of way doesn't mean a heavy-duty thing for the guy. They know how guys are wired, yet they make a mountain out of a mole hill, especially with sex that is even more invasive. It's on her. It's not on you. Don't worry about it.
