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Distance between us

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by angel626, Nov 21, 2013.

  1. angel626

    Regular Member

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    So I have this friend; let's just call her "Ali." I have recently become close with Ali to the point that we were constantly texting each other. Now Ali has this other friend "Lexi," that likes me but I don't feel the same way about Lexi so I told her and everything is fine between me and Lexi; were still friends. Lexi, Ali, and I all went to the hookah bar last Saturday night to go have some fun and chill. While there my friend Ali met this guy that she has been flirting with for a while and as the night progressed Ali and the guy she met up with ended up making out for a majority of the time. Well by three in the morning we were all starting to say our byes and head home; when I went to say bye to my friend Ali she said she wanted to talk to me about something thing is it might be awkward. I asked if she wanted to find a quite place to talk and she just nodded her head no because she had to get home so she said she would text. Well by the time I got home it was 3:30 in the moring and I was already abouteasy. crash when my friend Ali texted me. She told me that before Ali, Lexi, and I became close, Lexi was mad at Ali for a while because Lexi thought I had a crush on Ali. Ali said it was weird when Lexi told her that because Ali only sees me as a friend. I knew that even though Ali did not say it in the text, all she was trying to do was in a way ask me if I had a crush on her without having to come right out and just say it. So me firmly believing in just telling the truth than to rather waste my time with a lie; caused me to just be 100% honest. I told her that I did find her attractive, I fee comfortable around her, and I like talking to her because its easy. I also said that I do have some feeling towards her but I'm happy with the friendship we are establishing. She thanked me for being honest and said that we are still friends. The issue here is, after I told her about how I truly felt I have not seen or texted her since that night. Normally it would not bug me if we didn't text but the fact that we went from texting 24/7 to not texting at all these past few days is frustrating.

    My question to you is should I have been so honest with my feelings? Is she distnacing her self from me? Or is she just avoiding me? What should I do; I don't want to my lose friend. :help: :bang:
    Sorry for the long post.
     
  2. AtheistWorld

    AtheistWorld Guest

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    Whether Lexi's being truthful about it or not, it's clear you caused a rift between them, and she was examining your brain to see if Lexi's misgivings were justified. Now Ali knows for sure that you Lexi's suspicions were true, and to save their friendship she's scraping you from her life like dirt.

    It's amazing how devious Ali was in extracting the truth from you, showing how good people can be at covering their baleful intentions. If it were me, I would've realized that conversation had setup written all over it, but when your looking at it through a rosy lens like you were it's understandable how you would get tricked.

    I for one am not surprised that she quit talking to you after you confided your crush to her. Telling the truth is important, but not if it endangers your relationships, and in a situation like this lying can only be harmless to them, and useful for you if you wanted to salvage the relationship. For the most part, straight people don't react kindly to getting crushed on by gay people, so there was no need to tell her unless you had some faint hope that she would reciprocate your feelings.

    Taking into account what happened at the bar, I highly doubt Ali is gay, so there's not much of a chance of your confession leading to anything but the end of your friendship with her. From her perspective maintaining a friendship may fuel the unbelievable notion of your friendship becoming more intimate down the road, so she's quelling it now so that you don't get your hopes up. It may seem like a harsh thing to do, but at least she's not misleading you or anything; that would be mean.
     
    #2 AtheistWorld, Nov 21, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2013