So lately I've felt as if I was losing one of my best friends. She got a new boyfriend around the first of August this year, and she has been spending entirely too much time with him. Sure, there is probably some jealousy on my part, because I did (maybe I still do) have some more intimate feelings for her -- feelings which I have tried to avoid because she is straight, and I know it would go nowhere in the long run. Last week I distanced myself from her a bit. I spoke to her about the issue I had with the amount of time she and her boyfriend spent together, and the lack of time she has been spending with friends (including me). She said she would work on it, but things continued the same. It's not even just the time they spend together, though; even when they aren't together and she is just hanging out with friends, she will constantly talk about him and/or text/call him. It feels as if I have no place in her life anymore, and I know a couple of other friends have expressed the same feelings. I understand being in love, but at the same time I don't understand abandoning friends for the sake of a relationship. She and I were supposed to meet up tonight to discuss things and actually work them out in person. Well, it turns out boyfriend got an unexpected day off (and the entire weekend at that, mind you), so she through our plans in the trash to spend the entire weekend with him. A month ago, even two weeks ago, I had so many intense feelings for this girl -- and perhaps they're still there to an extent, hence this 'jealousy' I am feeling -- but here lately, I feel completely numb towards her. I don't even know how to talk to her anymore. I can deal with it (have before), but it's still hurtful to be neglected by somebody you were so close to at one point. Trying not to make any rash decisions, but at this point I almost want to tell her I want nothing to do with her until she finds room for her friends again.
I know the feeling. In the past, I've gotten angry at the person when they got caught up with their partner... but then I think that just kind of ruined our friendship. I would try to be patient, and explain to her calmly how it makes you feel. In the meantime, try spending some time with some other friends perhaps.
Yeah, that's what bugs me the most: I explained things calmly last week, and we had plans for tonight, then I was bailed on for the partner. I would understand if this were high school or early college level, but she is 30 and he is 37. You would think time apart would be appreciated.
