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She's someone to talk to, but I don't like her

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by metoo, Nov 23, 2013.

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  1. metoo

    metoo
    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Ok, so I'm in high school, and I throughout the time I've been there, all my friends have been on such a surface level, and I really don't have anyone that I can have deep and much needed conversations with.

    There is this one girl who I met this year, who automatically connected to me. She is one of those girls at school who is not very popular because she's so annoying, and overly attached. I don't really like as a person myself, and I know this sounds mean, but I don't want people to think that we are friends. She is sort of like a follower rather than a friend.

    However, one of her 'annoying' traits is always being interested in you and your whereabouts, and your feelings. After being so left out at home and at school, and feeling like no one really cares, for someone to want to talk to me about me is very refreshing. I ended up opening up some to her, and telling her some of my problems. It is so nice to talk to someone who is curious about me, and what I have/am going through.

    But if I continue to tell her about my problems and thoughts, she will get closer and closer to me, but I don't want her as a friend. I just don't know what to do now. I don't want her to feel like she is special to me at all. Please help. :icon_sad:
     
    #1 metoo, Nov 23, 2013
  2. MoyashiAlice

    MoyashiAlice
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    I am in this exact same situation. I have't found a solution yet, but I will let you know if I ever do.
     
    #2 MoyashiAlice, Nov 24, 2013
  3. StormySea

    StormySea
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    I have had a few friends like this, but I don't really mind them. I try to ask them the questions instead of asking me about personal things so that neither party gets too attached.
    You may want to be careful about what you say however, because these people tend not to be the best secret-keepers!

    What I do is just kind of let us become somewhat-friends, close enough that I can correct them if they get too needy around me and just flat out say that what they're doing is annoying (not quite that harshly! XD). The thing is, if you treat these people like a friend, and do for them what you would do for your closest friends, they tend to pick up on that and mirror you. Hopefully the end result is that they learn how to treat people with a respected distance, and learn the more correct social skills to interact with other people appropriately.

    You shouldn't think too much about what other people think about you being friends with her though. That's probably what's gotten her in this needy state now is people not wanting to be associated with her. (And if you're really concerned with others opinions on who you hang out with, they'll probably think you're being a good person to talk to someone who doesn't have as many friends.)

    I'm trying not to sound like an asshole here, but it's hard to word this any other way because it can be an awkward situation.
    My goal has always been to teach others and pass on advice that will help them in their lives, and I just try and always remember that. :3
     
    #3 StormySea, Nov 24, 2013
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2013
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