Just warning you guys, the backstory for this is a little long, and I'm not the greatest at explaining things, so sorry about that... Over the summer, I went to a 3 day convention with my friend, her boyfriend at the time, and several friends of her boyfriend. I'd never met any of her boyfriend's friends, and they were all at least 2-3 years older (they'd just graduated high school) so it was a pretty awkward weekend, but it wasn't too bad. Anyway, apparently one of the guys took a liking to me, and got my number from my friend after the con was over and we all went home. That same night he asked me out, and since I barely knew him and had no interest in dating someone in college, I politely turned him down. Then he sends me a 5 page text about how perfect and pretty I was, how lonely he was, and how he wanted to kiss me. (Yet I'd only met this guy 2 days ago and didn't even know his last name.) So, to say the least, I was a little creeped out, and asked him to let up on the compliments. Which he didn't really do, now that I think about it. It's been 3 months, I haven't seen him since, and he just won't stop texting me. From what my friend told me, he's been going through some personal issues too. He got drunk, punched his friend in the face (which broke his hand), got kicked out of college, and dyed his hair green, all on top of the depression he's been dealing with for a few years. So, I guess my question would be, how do I tell this guy to leave me alone (so he'll get the point, at this point it's really annoying getting 'hey beautiful' texts at 2 in the morning) without ruining his life? The last time I tried talking to him about it, he started talking about suicide, and I definitely don't want to be really harsh and risk being the reason he does something terrible. I haven't told my parents yet, which I'm not totally against doing, but I'd rather try and get this sorted out on my own. My friends aren't any help, so any advice is welcome at this point...
Easiest solution to people who keep texting you is to delete any text threads involving him, rename his contact "Do not respond to" Any time he texts you you're remind not to talk to him and to delete the text as soon as you get it. He won't get it at first but it'll lighten up in a week or two and hopefully gone in a matter of months
^ Not necessarily Simply say "Stop texting me or I'm getting police involved". Should he keep texting you follow through. I'm assuming you know (sorta) where this guy lives, so if he starts threatening suicide call the local PD for his town and report it. Simple and easy.
You could try pointing him to get some help, but really it is not your fault he is being self-destructive. Even if you did like him, it sounds like he has a lot of problems that wouldn't be magically fixed when being with a guy he barely knew before. So, there is little you can do to fix things. Also, don't feel you have to deal with this alone. It's best to talk to someone, maybe even get a therapist to talk to him.
Good option if he knows where she lives but that will definitely have a higher chance of getting the parents involved, again not necessarily a bad thing but she did request that to not happen if possible Good call on the suicidal bit but it's best to just not say anything at all because it WILL make him want to keep texting / gives him hope Now I guess I'll have to edit my advice and say to check his texts because he is emotionally unstable and if he does say anything about suicide call the police and let them know, maybe then break the no contact that way you know he's talking to you and not doing something stupid , at least until the police get there
This is probably close to what I'll have to end up doing, since I've been ignoring a majority of his texts for a while now and he hasn't let up. I don't think I'll actually need to get the police involved, I think telling him that would be enough. If he doesn't quit I think I'll tell my parents before I go to the police; see if they could get him to stop without making a huge deal out of this. Thanks for the help you guys
Honestly, don't be scared to get police involved. Even if you don't know exactly where he lives, since you have his phone number they can look that up among a list of other things. As far as those who say it will give him "hope" if he calls the police and reports a posible suicide attempt. The alternative is the kid follows through. So, take this seriously, the other person is still a human being and if he starts talking about it, don't hesitate to make the call.
OH no no no I meant I didn't think I'd need to get the police involved to get him to stop texting me. Of course I would tell the police if he started talking about suicide. Sorry if I confused some people there D:
California-no him. Just stop responding... Or you need to have a serious talk and let him know that you're not interested. I think it's over the top to call the police, personally. Some people let their emotions get to the best of them; it sounds like that is happening here.
