I have been in a relationship with a guy that is 20 years older than me for almost two and a half years now. I am 23 years old and work 80 hours a week most weeks. He fights me because I work so much and don't spend much time with him but work requires so much of me it's hard to give him any more of myself. He has been unemployed for three years now. I love him but I am discovering that I don't love him romantically. I think I fell in love with his personality but I don't know that I have ever loved him romantically. I have recently begun talking to someone two years older than me and he is int he same business as me. I find myself thinking about him all the time. Am I wrong for reaching out for someone who understands me and is my age? Does my current relationship have a future? Anyone's insight would be great.
No, it's not wrong for wanting someone closer to your age and who's on the same page career-wise. In my opinion this newer guy is much more appropriate for a variety of reasons. The most important one being that you don't really have the same feelings for the person you are with now as you once did. And frankly the age gap between you guys is quite large. You have just begun your life whereas this other man is heading towards the opposite end of the spectrum. I don't intend any of this to sound mean or rude though.
I think it's always better to be on equal footing. The older guy you're with is not someone good for long term because of his unemployment, which sounds like part of a mid-life crisis for him. The younger guy sounds more promising and won't be so dependent on you for support. Of course, the age gap is important, but you're an adult now and should be able to handle any age of person.
Personally I wouldn't waste any of your 20's on this. If you are building your career great, but your free time is soooo valuable, spend it with someone who challenges you and makes your pulse quicken and is fun. It's an awesome time in life and explore every part of yourself. Since you know you are not in love, you are kinda wasting his time too.
