Hey ladies and gents. Sorry but this is going to get long and I'm not the best at explaining things. As some background, I'm a 19 year old male who personally identifies as a gay (publically as straight) and for the past few months I had been in a college-like environment for training with the military. I had gotten to know a friend pretty well since he lived a few doors down and we were in the same class/field. Anyway we hung out a lot as you could imagine. Two weekends ago we were hanging out in his room with a third individual watching movies and whatever and decided to just stay the night anyway. There are only two twin beds but it's cool, this friend and I share his bed. Anyway early in the morning I wake up and find him feeling me up like crazy, working his way from my neck down to my pants, and indeed in them. As far as he was aware I was still sleeping. Let me clarify that I did not have a problem with this whatsoever, in fact I was most certainly into it and would have reacted had there not been another person in the room sleeping. When he came over, we ended up in bed together and long story short, I ended up Moving on, that event had really confused me because I was not sure how to proceed. Like I said, I certainly was not offended nor upset and, well to be frank I had secretly hoped him and I could do something. I wanted to bring it up to him but was not sure how to go about it. It literally consumed me thinking about him. It took me until the Thursday of that week to mention it, and we had a good conversation which mostly consisted of giggling. He asked if he had done anything wrong, naturally I said no and that I was totally cool with it. He suggested and I agreed that we skip physical training the next day to talk about it. Long story short, he came over, we ended up in my bed together, played around and I sucked him off. We exchanged some dialoge, a lot of mutual laughing about it since I think this was new to both of us. Since then we talked more on it on occasion and played around just like above when we had the chance. We've both discussed it and agreed that this was just a casual sexual relationship and for fun. In truth I'm not sure what that consists of; especially in comparison to something more serious, I've never done been in this kind of situation. As it so happens, I really couldn't stop thinking about him. The problem lies in this all happened to come right at the end of this stage in our training. As of yesterday we are both home on leave before going to different assignments halfway across the CONUS. I can say without a doubt that leaving him was one of the hardest if not the hardest things I've ever done. I don't know what it is because I've never really had this situation before but like I said I can not stop thinking about him. I would give anything to just lie with him against his body right now. Sparing the details, it's a really annoying situation. Frankly I just don't know what to do. Thinking about him often brings me to tears and I think about him often. I'm trying to enjoy seeing my family again and being home away from training before I go far away from them, but he seems to be taking priority. We've been texting and I get that he might be in a similar (if less extreme) position. We had such a long conversation at the airport but I feel like it could have gone on for hours. We don't really talk about it except in person so it's only made worse because I feel blocked in. I think what I'm looking for is some advice as to understanding what the hell is going on and how to proceed. Or perhaps all I wanted was to share my predicament, I don't know; it feels somewhat nice just to share this situation.
That's rough, man. I don't think there's anything to offer but sympathy. If you think he may be going through the same thing you are, you could ask him if he wants to try long-distance. Those usually don't go well though Other than that, let your family make you smile and cheers to the time you had!
To me, it seems pretty obvious what happened. You just had your first sexual experience with a guy, you really enjoyed it, and now you are a little bit attached to that guy. I think what you are feeling right now, given the circumstances, is pretty normal. It sounds like any sort of relationship or friendship with this guy is going to be next to impossible due to geographical distance. If that's the case, then you really need to try to get over him. Time and distance will help. Branching out and meeting other guys at your new assignment would also be a good idea. Just remember, there are other fish in the sea. You'll get through this.
It seems like for both of you this has gone past a casual relationship. Luckily, whatever you do from now on will be fine. If you find that you want to be in a long-distance relationship, then you'll find ways of making it work out. If you eventually drift apart, that will be okay, too, because so far you two don't seem to have had any big negatives; though, two weeks is hardly enough time to know for sure you two would not have had problems. Just don't feel like this has to be the first and last relationship. It might be, which would be great.
I wish I had gone through this earlier in life so I wouldn't be so lost haha. I know for sure we'll stay good friends, I just wish I could be with him for some time longer, Jesus I dunno. You're probably correct though in that I must have gotten on some level attached, and I'm sure I'll get through it; I just don't expect I'll like it much.
