Hi guys, So basically I started seeing a guy who is a good bit older than me. When I say "seeing" I mean that we are sleeping with each other (not really a relationship) and thats about it. I am 23 and he is 49, do people find the age difference weird? We get on well but normally meet up with each other when we are both out (separately) having a few drinks and decide to meet at the end of the night. Is it a bad thing to just have a sexual relationship with someone and nothing else? I am not out and therefore is hard to meet guys. As I said he is 49 so about 26 years older than me (but he is hot!) He is very trustworthy and a genuine guy and I actually love the fact that when I am going out with all my straight friends on a saturday night that there is a good possibility me and him will end up having sex that night. Should I just continue having sex with this guy for now? Sometimes I feel a bit weird about it when I think about it during the week, I think if my friends/ family knew about this they would be shocked :eek: But when we meet up I really don't care about any of that :icon_bigg Anyway any advice, thanks!
Hi walshy222 Thanks for considering older guys, it’s nice to come across someone who doesn’t just write off the over 30s. From my point of view I would feel uncomfortable dating anyone young enough to be my son but would feel ok in a more platonic relationship or perhaps just very occasional sex. I think relationships with huge age differences are probably hard to keep going, although they do exist, and if I were your age I would look for a relationship with someone no more than 5-7 years older. As you may gather from my other posts I am relatively new to this but have been surprised by how many guys young enough to be my son have contacted me on the more well-known dating apps for mobile phones looking for a hook-up, so you’re not the only one. Sale Gay Guy
Hey SaleGayGuy, Thanks for the response. No problem, I definitely do not write off the over 30's and imagine there are loads of guys who don't, there are some hot older guys around! Ya I see what you are saying about not having a relationship with the guy but I haven't even thought about the possibility of that to be honest, just enjoying the sex for now The good thing is i think that this is mutual with us, we can go back have a few drinks, have sex and have a laugh and chat afterwards. Then that is it until the next time we meet, we don't even talk or text really during the week which keeps it very simple!
Yeah, you are definitely not alone in being young and finding older guys sexually attractive. Older men are very hot to me as well. There's nothing wrong with it if you both are having fun and being safe.
Your 20's are a time for fun. You are both adults and consensual so why not. When one of you starts to want more, if it's not mutual time to move on. As far as the guilt, if you ever want a full relationship with someone, you will have to decide when the time is right to come out.
Being an older guy, check age, I tend to agree with SGG. When answers an ad and is close to the age of my own children I answer with a kind note stating the age difference is way too large. Having a relationship with your friend is a good thing however a long term relationship should be with someone more in your age group. Darn! I am sounding old and wise. Well old is right but wise, not so much. Good luck.
I think the difference is too large. When I was in college, and about 22, I could look upward, probably in the 35 to 42 range, and notice attractive men, but 49 is past that and would not have been my thing. And, correct, I couldn't have seen being involved with one, except for a fling, either short-term or medium-term. I couldn't hanging around with them. I preferred to be around people who were 20 to 27, more or less, when I was 22. If this works for you, this person isn't emotionally invested, you're playing safe, and you don't see any negative ramifications, then you could go on with it, for a little while. But be careful. He has the upper hand. How did you meet - drinks or bar? What's his sexual orientation and does he have a woman and you're the side dish, or does he have a string of younger guys lined up? Both of those would be uncool.
I am totally ok with this. I am in a serious committed relationship with a great guy who is 45. It is very common within our community and can be even more healthy than two young men doing this. I know your situation is different but don't let anyone discourage you from what your doing.
Thanks for all of the replies. Is good to see most people don't see an issue with this. I'm just going to continue it for now anyway, as "YOLO4me" said 20's are a time for fun and I am definitely having fun doing this. As stated previously it won't turn into anything serious as we BOTH do no want that, so no issue really!
I'm 20 and dating a guy 18 years older than me. I totally love it, we get along brilliantly and the sex is amazing. For us it's a lot more then sex but that's just us. We have a lot in common and totally love to be with each other and consider each other our BF. As long as you both respect each other and enjoy the sex and keep it safe, than I don't see anything wrong with it.
