I know it's an age old cliche question, but I'm just wondering for clues I can look for or hints I could drop with a friend. This refers to a friend I met about 6 months ago. We became close friends very quickly but sadly he's moving away permanently within the next couple weeks. We both have girlfriends but he doesn't know I'm bi. My relationship is long distance and his girlfriend has been away the last week for thanksgiving. As soon as she left he started inviting me to hang out literally every day, some times multiple times a day. I love hanging out with him so it was no problem for me. He keeps talking about how we have to hang out and how I have to visit him once he leaves. Honestly he seems pretty attached to me. I don't think he's very happy with his current girlfriend. Nothing remotely sexual ever happens between us although he recently has been more into revealing some raunchier details of his sex life. He seems to prefer hanging out one on one and never invites anyone else out. He was raised in a somewhat homophobic environment and doesn't seem that comfortable with homosexuality. I would love for him to know I have a crush on him but I think telling that risks the friendship for sure. Anything I can do to feel him out a little more subtly?? How likely do you think it is that he reciprocates my feelings? Thanks!
I think sometimes us gay/bi people can take things a bit out of context or see things that aren't there but we want them to be when it comes to same-sex friendships. From what you've said it doesn't really sound like he's interested in anything other than just having you as a close guy friend to hangout with. I wouldn't really recommend admitting you like him if you think/know that it will potentially damage the friendship that you do have with him.
I was in a somewhat similar situation not too long ago so I think I get where you are coming from. It's quite the predicament. Nothing sounds like he is looking for anything else but that doesn't really compel the whole story. The issue is that it will end up with whatever you put into it, so the more subtle ways of going around it have a higher chance of not being picked up or being misinterpreted whereas the more overt ways to proceed run the risk of conflicting with your friendship. Now you say he's moving away soon. One interesting point, to be taken as food for thought, is that on the one hand if things go positively, it might become bitter sweet quickly as he is leaving. On the other hand, if it sours your friendship, you'll both effectively go on your separate ways, however bitter that would be, losing a friend and all that. I honestly can say that I don't know what I'd do in this situation. A lot of it comes with how well you know this person and what feels right. I would say if a moment presents itself to mention it or something like that, consider taking it. And if not, that's ok too because you've got what sounds like a good friend.
Because he enjoys hanging out with you and he's told you about his sex life you think he's bi/gay? Don't read into it too much, dude. Friends and friends, and some people like telling their friends personal things and hanging out one-on-one. I would not confess your crush on him.
Thanks everybody. I have to say I agree. Crushes make you irrational. I know it doesn't make sense! I just hate these straight sensitive friends that are willing to make deep emotional connections with me. It gets me every time!
