I apologize for the sappy title. xD Basically, to make a long story short, there was someone who recently came out to me. They were very attractive, and we connected very well. He said he came out because he said he liked me, as in more then friends, and I was like "okay." because I thought he was straight. He kept hinting he wanted more. That's when I started falling for him. We would hang out after school, and do things together, and it was just nice. And then...well he decided that he didn't want to be gay. He told me he would never accept his homosexual feelings, and that there were "too many pretty girls" at our school for him to be gay. Whatever logic that is... Now he's been acting like all of what we did, said, and felt never happened. He's completely changed his stance and opinion on things, and treats me differently. I'm not perfect in this, I kind of avoided him for a while after he told me that he was going straight cuz I was hurt. Now I'm just not sure what to do. I feel like he's in denial about his sexuality because his reasoning for saying he's bi was the same reasoning I used when I first came out. This isn't even the biggest issue. He's left me feeling horrible about myself; the situation has left me feeling ugly looking, insecure, like I'm a horrible awkward person, and I'm even having the old "it's not normal to be gay." sort of thoughts. He's totally nice to me now, even though it's slightly awkward. But I just can't stand to be around him anymore, and hear how he's so "straight" and "macho." Is it wrong I want him out of my life? Am I just being stupid?
just go with the flow. if he's gonna be a dick, then fuck him. he'll prolly come around eventually, so just give it time and I'm sure you'll eventually be receiving a heartfelt, essay of a text message, apologizing for treating you so bad. and then the ball will once again be in your court and you can either make the same decision you made last time (ignore him) or kinda feel out the situation a little more.
You're not being stupid. He did kind of mess you around. He probably either lost interest or is confused about himself. If it's the latter, you can try getting close to him again and seeing what happens. But if he insists on being straight, I guess you just need to give him space and let him sort it out.
It's really not your fault. He is confused and sadly you got caught in his web of confusion. He is acting all macho and straight now as a cover-up and try to hide even to himself that he is gay or bi. However, that's his problem and not yours. You need to focus on you and know what happened was not because of you but because of his confusion and sadly you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and got hooked into his confused state of his sexuality. Your a good looking smart guy, be happy and proud that your gay. When the time is right, you will meet the right man, a man who is confident in his sexuality and proud of himself. For the time being, focus on yourself, do what's right for you and be secure that your a really good person exactly who you are. And I would avoid this person as much as possible and only give him a polite hello when he passes by you.
He already told me he's over me so I don't think I'll be able to pick up the pieces... but thanks anyways.
No, he is in the past, he is history. Just focus on you and rebuild yourself. That you can do. You were a victim of this guy's confusion. Time for you to move on and rebuild yourself better and stronger than before. You can do it.
Just remember the adage "time heals all wounds" and keep moving forward with your life. Whatever hobbies you had before, put more effort into them now. Do something that re-enforces the positive attributes of life rather than the negatives. It can be difficult if you are a realist or pessimist but mind over matter is another axiom (theoretical) to remember in that case. I personally use theoretical productions of livestock since I am a country boy or designing interior landscapes for my house since I am an environmental nut. Also I train my dogs and clean. There are many things you can do to help yourself move forward and take your mind off of him. Good luck!
That is so unfair what he did to you! I had a similar experience with a woman though....she told me she loved me and wanted "to marry me"...then would correct herself "marry me IF I WAS A GUY"....I was her first kiss (she actually initiated) and we were just very close in general. I let this go on for years...thanks to my internalized homophobia I thought that if I loved some one I should let her "be straight" since every one around me told me that was the normal thing to be. I think you have to view it this way; IT'S HIS LOSS. He did not have the courage to be honest to himself. You did. In the end, he will likely live a life where he pretends to be straight; now, for the most of us that's just unbearable. YOU will be the one though who is living your life the way you were meant to live it. You will eventually find some beautiful men to be with and be romantic with. It's his loss if he wants to go around with women who he may not even be romantically attracted to.
