Hello, Growing up I was surrounded by a large group of other boys roughly about my age. My first sexual experience was a dare to blow three guys at the same time. At the time it felt like rape, or at least the way that was described to me. Now I wonder if all gay guys have experienced homosexuality as a dare in their youth. The first time I played spin the bottle was with my brother, and another pair of brother and sister. There were three of us guys french kissing as a lead into romance. The one year I attended private school, I wore Jordache and Sassoon Jeans. I must have gotten as many pats on the ass as any of the girls. I used to follow music like a lot of my peers, but that did not keep the tendencies from rising. I think behind my homophobia growing up there was nothing but the pain of denial, and a lot of that was physical too. Somehow My mother and father understood that I am gay, but deep down they would like me to speak from real experience. I am no longer confused about the muscular chests that turn me on, the firm asses, or the rippling abdomens. I only feel at a loss because I see a lot of gay men still wear their homophobia close to them, as if somehow being and becoming gay implies you live like a victim. I don't relate my male lovers to these experience but it makes my world complete to press my lips against a man's mouth, and know that the world has brought us this much closer to being a partnership in divine faith. Any thought about being gay as a way to survive rather than something that you wear like a victim?
being gay as a way to survive?.. I have not even an iota of an idea of what you're talking about to be honest.
