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Friends with benefits with my crush?? :(?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by unsuspecting, Dec 2, 2013.

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  1. unsuspecting

    unsuspecting
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    I have a friend i knew since school began and i started up a local GSA, we started to hangout and on one of our dates we ended up sleeping together. I feel like he was one of the first I’ve actually felt really connected with since my last serious relationship. Today, a few days after sleeping with each other, i kind of confessed I liked him in a romantic way, but all he said was he just wanted to be friends with benefits (and he would be fine if we just went back to friends). I was so devastated i ended up crying for an hour over him! I honestly believed he liked me in the same manner simply because of the way he acted, he would constantly flirt and give me compliments. What should I do because i don't want to face seeing him again, but yet he wants to come over Friday. I don't want to lose a good friend, but yet I don't want to go on thinking I'm never an option for him. please just... help me sift through these feelings?
     
    #1 unsuspecting, Dec 2, 2013
  2. bluesky

    bluesky
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    You gotta stand your ground.. obviously you know what you want, and that's a relationship with him. If he's not willing to do so then you're just going to have to focus on someone else...Him flirting and giving you compliments could also mean that he's attracted to you but doesn't want anything emotionally. does that make sense?

    Either way, if that's his choice, I think you just have to respect that.. either that or keep away from him until your feelings are set aside until you're ready to be friends with him again. I hope you feel better.
     
    #2 bluesky, Dec 2, 2013
  3. Gingerblond93

    Gingerblond93
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    I totally agree. Don't confuse his flirting with you anything more than his sexual attraction towards you. It sounds like he is clear, he likes you as a friend and likes you sexually as well, but is not looking for a romantic BF relationship.

    Bottom line, you need to respect his wishes and can only do what's right for you. If your cool with him as a friend with benefits only then that's fine. However, if you feel you need more, you should have him as a friend only and don't get sexual with him, as it will only cause you pain when you can't get completely what your looking for.

    You may need to look for another guy who is totally available to you. Available to you as a friend a lover and a romantic partner.

    Be strong. I wish you well.
     
    #3 Gingerblond93, Dec 3, 2013
  4. Rap24

    Rap24
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    The same thing just happened to me also. What we did was just talk about what we wanted, we figured that we would just stay friends, because we both loved our friendship more. It's pretty awkward at first, but it gets better. Good luck!
     
    #4 Rap24, Dec 3, 2013
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