So i'm a 15 year old bicurious/ish guy that really likes my best friend. I'm really sorry if this is long it might take awhile to explain... So me and "Jake" lets say (Keeping his actual name private) have been friends for almost a year now, we're both in grade 10. I have not told anybody but 1 person about me liking another guy, because I don't know if I am bi because I haven't really liked any other guys other than this one friend. To start off i'l describe Jake. So he's a really nice guy, he enjoys gaming and dance (ballet), and he is very touchy-feely and hugs people lots. He has told people he is straight but a fair amount of people could vote to say he's bisexual (he is also a supporter of gay people, he's not homophobic). I first started liking him after the first few months of us being friends. Jake and I hang out probably 3-5 times a month, so not very often, because he has lots of hobbies and is a on-the-go type of person. His biggest hobby is his dance, which he does almost every day. There aren't any big events where he has given off any big hints on whether its possible he is bi or likes me at all close to how much I like him, just a few small ones which i'l start the first below... Skipping to the first time that it kind of felt like a hint was one time when we hung out he asked me right out in truth or dare about my sexuality, and I said straight, and he said he was too, but I added "I guess you don't really know if you don't try though" and he replied with a "yeah, but...." and he kind of just faltered silent. Going forward more, one time when we hung out he was being really touchy, and hugged me twice that day and was just really was being extremely caring and kind. Skipping far ahead, past a couple of lesser events that im not spending the time writing, to Halloween night, where we went out with lots of friends and I was having a really bad day, so he walked with me often and was trying to make me feel better. When we got back I was just being shy and still not great so he gave me a hug, and then we went to another friends place. At the friends place, I was going to sit next to him while we watched the movie, but there was really no room next to him, and he usually doesn't like being squished next to people so I just sat somewhere else. Afterwards we left just the two of us and as we walked past his house we hugged again then he went home, and then I did too. :icon_redf The next night I was having a horrible day, and on Skype I messaged him saying that I don't know why we're friends, because I feel like he just feels bad for me and that i'm not worth it, and then he got pretty upset at me for saying that and we didn't talk until close to a week after (then things went back to normal) On my birthday, we went to the movies, and shared a drink because we didn't have much money, and when we got home he wanted to watch a movie (rocky horror pictures show) and for a good 25 minutes he sad in the same chair as me even though the chairs are kind of small and pushed us together. That made me pretty happy, but then he sat with my other friend just the same afterwards so I guess it wasn't anything special, just his personality maybe? Skipping up-to-date there is a girl I know he likes, and I also know she sort of likes him, but she has REALLY high standards and from what I know she probably will be too afraid to do anything (I kind of hope they wont, I want him to be happy, and don't mean to be selfish, but I hope that he likes me ) My friend and I are throwing a party, and likely many people will drink. There is a part of me that just wants to kiss him at the party, because it would be an easy way of getting it out there, and with the excuse if he doesn't like me that I didn't know what I was doing. Im pretty sure he is bi, and he does like this girl but I feel like he might like me by the way he treats me, he's really gentle, kind, and honest around me and treats me differently then most other people. I'm hoping that he might even slightly like me or try to give us a shot :tears: *This is completely real **I just need advice, support, anything is helpful. Thanks for reading
Welcome to EC! Okay, first and foremost: kissing him outright is a BAAAD idea. I've heard of maybe 2 times this actually worked and about 2k+ times it ended with the other person flipping out, no matter how accepting they are. Most people don't like crossing the intimacy line without consent. With that being said, it sounds like you guys are not really that close. You should try hanging out with him more. Go to a few of his dance things, but remember be his friend, before you try and be his boyfriend. The other thing that you could do, if you're really comfortable with him and he's as accepting as you say, is just to talk to him about it. Be honest about where you stand on your sexuality and then, who knows, maybe he is in a similar place. However, with that being said, you should be ready for him to not reciprocate those feelings. Not to say this will happen, but it's a possibility. There is also a possibility that one of you decides you don't like each other, but those are the negative extremes.
Good advice^ Try to first come out to him, then see his reaction before saying you like him. Two bombshells can be too much for some people to handle at once.
I agree with above comments, as well, you don't want to spook him at the party and drive him away. When the time is right, be open with him about your sexuality. Let him know your bi and see how he reacts. If he is the decent person as you say he is, I'm sure he will support you 100%. If he too is similar, I'm pretty sure he will tell your or will eventually tell you, it all depends on his comfort level with his sexuality and his self acceptance and confidence. But, as the others said, don't kiss him at the party and don't come out to him at the party. When you come out to him, that should be when your alone with him and you will feel when the time is right. Best of luck and keep your chin up.
Hey First of all, (*hug*) The above comments have some very good suggestions. I would just try to get closer to him, and then talk to him more an come out to him (as bi or confused/curious) and see how he responds. If he responds really well and accepts it then that's a good sign that you could talk to him about your feelings. If you two are really good friends than you should be able to ask him if you can talk about this because you need support and that you want to make sure you don't lose his friendship etc. Just be prepared that he might not feel the same way. Keep us updated
Thanks for all the advice everyone, I really appreciate it. I haven't decided what i'm going to do yet, but if I do I will probably make another post or something. Thanks!
