I really don't know how to handle this

I posted another thread in here before and nobody responded, so I figured I'd wait and see how my situation would work out. But things have gotten worse, and I really can't handle this on my own. I also don't mean to be an annoyance by making threads often. This might end up being a long post, but any advice would be so helpful for me right now.

I've been talking to my ex-girlfriend for a few months now, and the entire time she had been giving me weird signals that seemed like she wanted to get back together again. I still have feelings for her, so this was my original hope... that we could be back together and be happy again. We'd talk about our status every now and then, but each time she'd respond with "I don't know" and then go back to being flirty and such. I was so confused, wondering why on Earth she kept acting like she wanted to be with me and then turn around and say she wasn't sure where she wanted to be. What was I doing wrong?

Now, she apparently doesn't want a relationship, and has just been hiding it from me because she doesn't want to hurt me. So I'm hearing all of this through one of our mutual friends. It's taken its toll, and I haven't been this depressed in a long time. She knows that she's hurting me, and it kills me to see her worry and fuss over me being upset each day.

Basically, I don't know what to do. It really hurts to know all of this, but at the same time, I can't possibly imagine letting her go again. She's back in my life, and the thought of her leaving again is painful. I can't give up on her, even if she has just been leading me on this entire time and really isn't interested.

Any advice?

 

It does help. I'll see what I can do. Things have gotten better from when I originally posted on here while in complete panic mode. I've talked to another friend, who really helped me out. Still, thank you so much for replying!