I've become close with a sophomore this past year because our moms are great friends (we have gym, band, and next year French together.) We were talking about Once Upon a Time and I mentioned how I ship Mulan and Aurora and (jokingly) Peter and Henry. She replied, "I don't ship either or any girl with girl or boy with boy. I don't really like gays or lesbians." Thank goodness the bell rang after that. I'm honestly shocked at how much I'm not pissed off about this, but at the same time I don't feel as comfortable with her anymore. Yet, I want to stay friends with her because other than that she's awesome. I guess I'm just spooked because I've only once before heard a kid in my school say a directly homophobic comment (sure I hear "That's so gay!" All the time but I know those kids are just predominantly joking.) Any advice? I have gym with her first period tomorrow and I don't really want to talk to her for a bit. Help?
If you just met is the friendship that important to you? If you want to continue it, that's up to you though. If you have a class with her it's gonna be hard to hid from her.. not sure.
Maybe, if she was really that important to you, you could ask her why she feels that way and what inspired her feelings. Who knows, you could change her mind. I've convinced a few friends to re-think it, you could do the same.
Next time it comes up, you could make a point of saying that you think people in same-sex relationships are OK and see how she responds. If she can at least respect that opinion than maybe the situation will be tolerable. If she gets pissed off about it or acts overly repulsed then I doubt you will get along long term.
I agree with what everyone else has said, and I'd like to add on that if she really is your true friend, she'll still be your friend even if she doesn't like gays and lesbians. I'd say bring up her reasons as to why casually. It could easily be that she just isn't comfortable with the idea, I've heard of plenty of people who are uncomfortable and generally don't like the LGBT community, but still support gay marriage, knowing that it doesn't affect them in any way. Who knows, her opinion could change. I know my close friend was always so scared of coming out as a lesbian to her sister, who would constantly talk about how she didn't approve of gay rights. When she finally came out, her sister was completely supportive. You just never know with people. Of course, with that being said, there's still the fact that she might actually be homophobic. If she is and you end up coming out to her, just be nice about it. Remind her that she doesn't have to accept it, but tolerate it. There's no need for her to start carrying rainbow flags and such if she doesn't agree, she just needs to know that it's who you are and that can't be changed. Anyways, I wish you the best of luck, and hope that everything goes well! Keep us posted.
Hmmmm... I like this question. It has deep moral and ethical connotations. Ultimately, it depends on your perspective. If you're someone who is flamboyantly gay or clearly a lesbian, someone who brings that aspect of their life into every part of their experiences, then I would suggest that you test this friendship and end it if the friend does not support you. Alternatively, my own position is that your friends vary. Some people you're friends with because they're funny, others because they are loyal, share the same career, participate in similar hobbies, etc. The reasons behind a friendship vary. For that reason, unless homosexuality is in any way prevalant to your and this friend's interactions, I would continue to befriend them for X reason and stick to it. If they're good company, spend time with them. But for sharing your romance with, go to another friend.
