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To forgive a cheater?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MaryMyers, Dec 4, 2013.

  1. MaryMyers

    Regular Member

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    I was dating a girl earlier this year. To me it was serious and I was faithful, and she had me believing that she too was serious and being faithful. Then she broke it off with me because she wasn't sure if she wanted to be with a woman, and her family and friends despise bisexuality/homosexuality. It totally broke my heart and for months we were either not talking or arguing.

    However, we somehow ended up back together and closer than ever. We have been this way for a couple of months now. We talk 24/7, exchange 'I love you's and have a lot of physical intimacy. Last night we were out having drinks when she revealed that she arranged to meet up with a male and had sex with him behind my back the first time we were together (at the time she did mention this to me, but said she was going to cancel on him because she planned it out of spite after a disagreement we had and didn't really want to sleep with him or upset me). She kept apologizing and telling me she loves me and is certain this time that she wants to spend her life with me. I feel betrayed and foolish. It feels like I'm constantly forgiving her for hurting me time and time again.

    She knows I'm disappointed and has given me space to decide whether I want to forgive her and move forward, or forget her and move on. Do you have any opinions/advice that might help me with my decision?
     
  2. shyjack

    Regular Member

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    I'd hate for this first reply be a negative one, but too many times in the past have people forgiven a cheater just to be hurt when they cheat again. It's totally your decision, but in my own experience, 'once a cheater, always a cheater.'
     
  3. castle walls

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    I don't believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater" but, if she is constantly hurting you and you have to constantly forgive her then I think it may be time to move on.

    Best of luck with whatever you decide!