This is just a little vent or whatever you want to call it. I apologise in advance if I make hardly any sense. I had my first relationship when I was 17, long story short, he dumped me cause I don't get sexual with people and my 2 relationships after that fell apart because of the same reason plus the emotional damage from the first. I am now semi comfortable with being single but I still feel very alone as I only have 1 friend who is more like a sibling so it's hard to talk to them about this kind of stuff and all of my high school friends have moved on with their life. Don't get me wrong, i am extremely affectionate. I love to kiss, cuddle, hold hands and be all warm and close to someone but that's as far as it goes and that's how I like it. I have Aspergers Syndrome so I'm a painfully timid being. I don't go out much at all unless it's a necessity, I went to a club for the first time last month and it was awful... I'm not cut out for it at all. I am the kind of person that likes to just hangout and do stuff as a duo (video games, movies, amusement parks, etc..) I've always been this way. I'm not a big group kind of person and that seems to bore a lot of people. I guess what I'm asking is am I crazy for hoping for someone like this? Is it possible to even find someone like that or are they just in the same position as me? It hurts to think there are so many people longing for someone to understand them and not being able to find them. I know it's the circle of life and all that but still, it's difficult. I'm not trying to sound whiney like "oooh I'm miserable, I need a boyfriend/girlfriend" I just want affection and understanding. Is it really so much to ask for? I feel as if I'm trapped in limbo or I died and the world is continuing to run it's course while I just wander around watching it all happen. I'm grateful for anyone who replies or even reads this lengthy post.
"I'm not trying to sound whiney like "oooh I'm miserable, I need a boyfriend/girlfriend"" I wouldn't worry about that, it's one of my favourite past-times! Too much to ask? No, I mean it might be worth (if you haven't already) thinking about WHY you don't want to get sexual. It's not a problem or a bad thing, it would just be useful to know. "It hurts to think there are so many people longing for someone to understand them and not being able to find them." Sucks, doesn't it? It won't be easy (it never is) but you'll find someone eventually...just remember you don't need to change your position on sex stuff for someone...if you don't want to do anything, don't start thinking you should do it just to get a partner...I only mention it because for some reason this seems to be a really common suggestion...
Please understand it's not something I can explain, I'm just wired this way. Some people like sex, some don't. It's that simple. I can also assure you I have no intention of getting intimate just to keep or get someone, call me crazy but I'd rather die than betray myself like that. I don't necessarily need to date, that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying it would be comforting to have have someone to confide in, tell my fears to, lean on if I need them and vise versa. You know what I mean? I am very thankful for your reply and hope I explained things a little better as I'm very bad at getting my points across.
Your point was well made the first time, I only asked about the sex thing because I've known plenty of people to change their minds once they find the right person, I've also known plenty who didn't! Was more out of interest than anything I do know what you mean...You'll find someone, I'm sure!
I'm like you in every way. I also have aspergers, and like you I also do not like doing sexual things. I like hugging, kissing, holding hands, and being affectionate, but no sex. I too am very timid and shy. My first relationship I also got dumped because I didn't want to be sexual. What I'm trying to say is that there are others out there like you who are looking for the same things in a relationship.Your not crazy for wanting what you want in a relationship. You will find somebody. Don't give up hope (*hug*)
I am happy there is at least 1 person like me that gets it but also sad cause I know how hard it can be.. I appreciate your reply more than you could possibly imagine, thanks a lot. All we can do is hope, I guess. Thank you, Ouji (*hug*)
