Where to start, I'm 18 y/o and I like to place my orientation as gay-bi romantic and I am currently in a relationship with a girl, she was my best friend and over a year ago I was in the lowest place I have ever been I didn't want to live anymore and I was almost gone. Then I found out that the only girl I ever liked also liked me so I asked her out just to test the waters and see how it would go, I was the happiest I had ever been in the last five years and then after 6 months she told me that basically if we ever broke up she would be heart broken and we would never be able to talk again and at that point I realized I had locked myself into a relation ship I couldn't get bout of without losing my best friend and only support. At that point in time I realised even though the relationship was good and I was happy I was losing a giant part of myself and wouldn't be able to experience a relationship with another guy and the touch of his hand, and the love of a guy. Now at this point I see pictures of guys together and I realize I'll never get to know what they feel and if I do I will lose another part of my life my girlfriend and best friend. Having this feeling gives me this giant empty feeling and pit in my stomach, every time it sends me back to those dark days and I just don't know what to do, I know I should talk to her and tell her this but I don't want her to carry all the weight of this and maybe form regret and sorrow because she wants me to be happy even if it makes her sad and depressed. I just don't know what I should do, I don't want to fuck up the only thing that's good in my life and has kept me alive. If anyone has any advise it will be a big help in not just a big support.
well, while you are with her build up a new support network of friends so then if you want to break up with her you will still have a great support network an friends!
