How can you tell when you are putting your own problems upon another person too much? I confide in my coach for virtually everything from My personal life problems to my stresses on a daily basis, and this makes me feel like a pest. In the past (and currently) I've had serious trust issues, and feel as if I only hurt the people that I love. Due to storing up my emotions, I used to self-harm, but I am trying my best not to do that again, and writing out/ speaking my emotions tends to help a lot. I tell my coach very personal stuff, and she always says that it is fine, but I feel as if I am a burden. For selfish reasons, I want to continue ranting to my coach (as it does help me through my daily struggles), but at what point should I stop? I hate being super-invasive, yet once I trust a person, I tend to latch on a bit too much.
It sounds as though you are only seeking someone to be able to confide in. Have you considered talking to a counselor on campus or a professional whose job is actually dedicated to these issues?
I sort of find myself in a simular position, it's somewhat different in terms of... cause, but the effect of neediness is sort of the same. Basically I have a desire to express myself to someone in a manner that might become a little to much. Many of the various reasons aren't important here, but one of them is. It's because I've got no other outlet but this one person. In my case, at times, it can only be this one person I can talk to about the things I want to. But at others I can find clarity directly, or at least distraction elsewhere. Basically for me it was important to find other outlets so when I really felt the need to "pester" this person I could instead go elsewhere. As an example, when I had that social desire, I will instead send an e-mail to someone else. It helps me feel connected elsewhere. Even if it's a friend I'm causal with so can't completely open up about what's on my mind or bothering me, it's still a pleasant distraction. Another thing I've found that helps is jumping on EC. Often there are people with simular feelings/fears/concerns as me and seeing it from their slightly different perspective can help. Even occasionally providing my input, like I am now, I've found is a really good way to sort of relax and clear my mind. At the very least I don't feel so alone in my concerns. So yeah... I think forcing yourself into some other "safe" outlets would be a really good thing towards "letting go" of your need for that one persons support. So your not so dependant on them. As said by the above poster, maybe consider seeking support from a "professional", there is no shame in getting help. That's just my experience and opinion, sorry if the thought process is a little muddled.
