So, I'm pretty darn gay, but for the last 4 years or so, I've been in love with a girl. She knows I'm gay and that I'm in love with her, but not sexually attracted to her. It's a bit complicated. There have been times that I have felt so romantically or emotionally connected to her that I have wanted to kiss her or maybe even more. :icon_redf I have never felt that way about a girl before even a little bit. I know that she loves me also, but we have never really given a relationship a shot. We went on a date about a year ago, but I think she is scared of being in a relationship due to some really painful things in her past. So, I have just given her space and kept being good friends with her. She believes she might be asexual which makes things more interesting, and isn't against the idea of dating me at all. Lately she has been sending some signals that she would be interested in dating me. Do you think dating her would be a terrible idea/ can you foresee this working out?
working out? I am not a fortune teller a terrible idea? Do you love her enough to be with her? That's going to ultimately be your decision and hers Foxface
I was in a similar situation. I consider myself a lesbian, but became infatuated with a boy that I dated on and off for over a year. First, I'll tell you what you want to hear: There are no set rules for what a relationship has to be, it can be anything that you and your friend agree on. If she is okay with you not being sexually attracted to her, and you are okay with it, then nobody else's opinion matters on it. Now I'll tell you how I handled my predicament. In the end, I decided that being sexually attracted to my partner was something that was important for me in a relationship. I think reaching a certain level of intimacy produces mutual vulnerability that can't be replaced by anything else. In my opinion, loving someone without being sexually attracted to them is friendship.
Thank you both. I appreciate your insight. I think I should have posted this in the sexuality and romantic orientation section. Whoops. Though I do want to date her, I also want to hear if other people have had similar relationships and how they turned out for them.
I was in a similar situation a while ago. I was with my exboyfriend for 5 years. I loved him (still do) but I wasn't sexually or physically attracted to him. When I came out to him as a lesbian he was really supportive. I am convinced that I would have still been with him today were it not for me having to go back to my own country to study. So it is possible if you really belive that the person might be the one or is worth it. In the end go with your gut feeling it is the only thing that you can really rely on and trust. If your gut says yes then I think you should. After all it would be a shame to miss out on something that could have been something big.
