OK, so I'm not here for me, as I'm not gay, but about my older brother, who is gay. He's been spending a lot of time at the family home recently recovering from a traumatic event last May. He apparently has met somebody new he is with, and this new man comes over to the house a lot, but I don't feel comfortable with him being there, and I know my parents don't like it. He met his new friend at an HIV clinic. I know I and my parents want to support my brother but we don't like having his new friend over all the time, and we don't know a polite way of telling him to keep him in the city and maybe he can come over one weekend a month, that's it. My parents and I have always been very supportive of my brother, but you have to understand, they were raised in the 1950s in a Catholic community, so the idea of their son upstairs in the bedroom with his friend is just too much for them, and it is too much for me too. I am supportive of LGBT rights and always have been, but this is a question of propriety, and of what's appropriate. What should we do? Plus it probably shouldn't be me who says anything because personally I don't like his new friend and I think he can do *much* better.
If I may ask, Why don't you feel comfortable with him being there? Maybe you should try getting to know him better Also I think you may need to be a little more accepting of your brother. I assume that this person makes him happy and you should be happy that he is happy. I obviously don't know your brother but I assume he will be very upset if you tell him to not bring his boyfriend with him when he comes to visit.
Hi CityofAngels, welcome to EC! I think I get what you are feeling. Thus, I would ask how you and your parents would treat the situation if this was a girlfriend we were talking about. If you can honestly say that it wouldn't matter, that it has more to do with certain attitudes about what is proper when bringing home a guest, then no one can blame you. I'm also not clear as to the relevance of where they met. Is the boyfriend HIV positive? Is there any specific thing you don't like about him, (health, status, manners, etc.) or just that this is an unfamiliar situation? You said he is recovering from a trauma. Do the visits from his boyfriend help him in this recovery? How much longer will it take for the recovery to be complete enough that your brother will be able to not be there so often? Lastly, does your brother have an inkling that this is making you uncomfortable?
I think this thread may be better placed in the family and friends of LGBT people section I agree with greatwhale
