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Physical contact

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by WrthPanda, Dec 15, 2013.

  1. WrthPanda

    WrthPanda Guest

    Hi
    Oh, were to start, it is so complicated, so a bit of a long read, but appriciate it so much if someone got the time to read this, and give me some help. So here goes:

    I have this friend, which I has been best friend with for what seem forever. We're both dudes by the way, same age, and known each other from the day we could walk. Enough background information I think, we're both 20 btw, if that should matter.
    We always been much closer than any of the other of our friends, both fysical and physical. So sitting close, legs touching, leaning against each other, and all that stuff were never really any problem with us. But lately, started last year I think, he is all odf a sudden really protective when it comes to physical contact. That's hurt. But now, if I as much as bump or brush into him (physical) he gets upset, and I think it's so frustrating that he changed all of a sudden. Some days ago he even yelled at me, because our hands had touched in public. He has no girlfriend by the way, and are really akwardwhen it comes to girls, if that means anything.

    I really do not get him, he usally hold eyecontact with way longer than anyone else I knew, and we even shared an intimitet moment, on a sleepover five years ago. The problem is that we haven't mentioned that little incident ever after. We were both fake sleeping after all, fooling around, so it would be rather awkward to mention our little intimitet moment, taken into count that both of ous likely thought the other was asleep.

    So to be honest I really like him, and I just got the feeling, can't really point it out, but somehow I just know,deep down, that he is feeling the same. Like there is an invicible robe, tying us together. I know it sounds lame and childish. And someone might as well tell me I just see what I wish, but really I can't deny it. Even if he upset me, and I know Iupset him to, there is just this force binding us, yeah I know it's cheezy and very dumb. So what do you guys think? Why do he all of a sudden get so afraid of physical contact? He has alway been very homophobic, even when we were touchy with each other, but the last year he has admit that he all of a sudden does not hate gays (anymore). So is he straight, gay, bi, or what? In denial with himself, maybe? Why the sudden change in personal space. Please give me some thoughts and advices. How can I restore our "cuddleness"? All help are so so so much appriciated :slight_smile:
     
  2. Gen

    Gen
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    Why not simply discuss this with him?

    It's clear that something is bothering him. Whether it has something to do with you or something that he is going through personally, something has caused this change in how he feels about these things. The best thing to do would be to be honest and vocal that you have noticed a change in the dynamics of your friendship and have the discussion.
     
  3. SomeNights

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    Agreed with Gen: it could be anything that's causing him to act this way and your best bet is just to ask him what's up.

    Now I can't say that this is what he is going through, but I know there was a point when I was so hell bent on making sure that no one knew I liked guys, that I went to the extreme of calling out someone if they touched me in any way.
     
  4. WrthPanda

    WrthPanda Guest

    That was something I had been wondering about, if it were possible to block the physical contact if you like someone, but guess you answered some of that, SomeNights, so thanks. Forgot to mention in the first post, which are kind of important. The physical block with my friend seem to only occure when we're in public. If we are all alone he find the strangest reasons to be close. Not openly, it seem like he tries to camuflage the touching, making it all seem like small accidents.
    So does all this have to do with feeling towards me, or is there maybe something totally different? I know asking, like Gen says would be wise, but it is so hard to start that conversation, specially when I do not know what he is feeling. Any advice that might give me some courage, cause god knows I need that :/
     
  5. SomeNights

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    I think you're confusing what the topic of the conversation we are telling you to start with your friend. If you guys have been friends this long, it's not going to be weird for you to say "Hey man, what's been up with you lately? You've seemed distant." That's what we're telling you you should ask him, not "hey man why haven't you been feeling me up lately" as that question is weird no matter how you word it. :slight_smile:

    Hope that helps