Hi EC, I'm 16 and for about four years I was in the closet - now I have come out to my family and some close friends and I am ready to meet other like-minded people and have my first relationship. So, for about a year I have been looking into this. There are 1,500 pupils at my school and about 200 in the sixth form. None of them are 'out' - homophobia and heterosexism etc. are prominent as I live in Yorkshire, a conservative rural area. However I believe this comes primarily from ignorance and that educating pupils through assemblies and the curriculum would eradicate this to a large extent. I searched for youth groups, there is one 40 miles away which I visited last week. This mainly consisted of 13 year old girls which I had absolutely no engagement with and a very feminine, immature guy who I could not really relate to - there were no common interests therefore not much friendship or dating potential. A major barrier which prevents me interacting with people my age: I am incredibly mature for my age (late 30s in a 16yo body) and I don't really get the humour and immature mentality of people my age. I have tried my hardest to make it work but that is just the way my mind works - my parents suggested going to adult groups (not necessarily LGBT even, perhaps sports or MENSA etc.) As far as I am concerned, I have two options - if you have any other ideas please let me know: Focus on work, wait until university Come out in college The idea of waiting until university is not very attractive to me - although I am not entirely sure how I would go about 'coming out' - I do not have social media profiles and don't want to make a big deal out of it. However, doing so might make me more accessible to other gay students and also set a good example. Additionally, I don't really like the idea the idea of making friends online as I would like to have a personal relationship with them so finding people in my area is a priority. I am sure that there are options that I have not considered, I'm open to any collaboration. Thanks for listening to my problem, I welcome any ideas or feedback you might have!
Well, I was very similar, but at a later age when I accepted myself and came out. You do want to get the ball rolling on shaping your future friends, companions, etc. I pretty much turned to online friends at the time, and was fortunate enough to meet one a few years down the line. The goal should really be to keep your sanity for right now. Knowing that there are other people like you, in general, should help you find some sort of solace. In terms of meeting others, I really do think it'll be a much more ideal situation when you're about 18 or just entering college. Then you'll see a much more diverse group of people. No matter how mature you feel now, there's still tons that you don't know at 16. You may very well be a few years ahead of your time, but I doubt you're late 30's ahead lol.. You'll definitely find people in their early 20's that you can relate with. I also say to wait because the average 20 some odd year old doesn't exactly hang out with 16 year olds. The best way (my opinion) to do it would be to just be patient and open minded.. and stay here and perhaps check for other forums that will help you meet someone closer to your age in a surrounding area. Just be careful.
Thanks Pat, that's certainly one of my options and the way I see it the most likely at the moment - although I am not sure whether I can wait up to three years (I may take a gap year) until university to get a boyfriend which I feel like I need - especially since each person in my small group of friends doesn't really care about my problems and doesn't offer much support although I do appreciate their neutral stance towards my sexuality it can be frustrating when I need somebody and they cannot offer any help. I am sure that university will be a much better environment with a more diverse group of people but at the moment I think a boyfriend would help me cope and also greatly benefit my grades so I can focus. You see I have never been in a relationship and that is what I really need to keep me on track and 'keep [my] sanity'! Does anybody have any ideas regarding coming out: should I do it and if so how could I go about doing it?
Hi Brad, Seems like you're in a sticky situation. I am also from Yorkshire, also 16 and in year 11, and I'm about to come out at my school after the Christmas Holidays. I've read stories that if you're the first person to come out at your school, then some closeted people may come out to you for help and advice etc. But don't do it just for that. Are you read to come out? Personally I've been thinking for months about it and I've finally made my decision too. If you've been thinking about it, then you should. Like yours, my school also have about 1,300 students and a 250 sixth form. Im sure there isn't only you, as there are quite a few lesbians and gay people in my school. Good luck with what ever you choose, but remember that you're going to have to come out at some time. (*hug*)
I agree with Hack There are probably more people than you think It probably won't do too much harm, and could do a world of good.
