Im writing this to get an advice or solutions. Im a lesbian, i've been in a crazy-love relationship for 3 years. Im in a country or a culture that being not married (to a male) is a shame and everyone will give u the pity look. My girlfriend is about to get married and she's in the process of doing so. We talked about this subject many times and we both know it will happen sooner or later, but we promised and we both believe that this marriage will never destroy our love. Her supposed to be her husband dont know that she's a lesbian and in love with me! And she will keep hiding it forever from him. My problem and the difficulties im facing right now is that im feeling she is falling for him or she's feeling comfortable with him! He took my place in out late night calls and he is calling her every night for an hour or more and after hanging up from him she calls me until she falls asleep. She is talking to him (texting-calling) in a daily/hourly basis and i cant take it. Im the very jealous type of a lesbian, i explained to her that i cant take the relation between her and him and every time i see her calling him i die!!! Please i need an advice to make this crap easy for me Being lesbian in such country is SO HARD
Could you talk to your girlfriend about this? Surely she must have similar thoughts... Is your relationship not important enough to be a factor in all of this? Would you be fine with living forever in the shadows to a married woman? Furthermore, leading on an innocent guy is not kind at all... so there's that. But with that said, maybe you could explain to us further what the attitude is of the society where you live. However, I really think that you should talk to your girlfriend about this, not with the intent of getting her to change her mind, but with the intent of opening up this kind of communication with her and with the intent of getting her to consider her priorities. I think that you, too, should consider what it is exactly that you feel that you want from this relationship, and what it is that you feel you deserve.
We talked many times about it, her thoughts are the same and she's feeling my pain! Our relationship is very important but as i mentioned in the post our culture forces us to do so! If its up to me and her i'll end up getting marrying her! But here its not normal to be a lesbian ! Its against everything (culture-society-religion in somehow) and sure its not fine with me to live forever in the shadows to a married woman! But she's not just a woman to me, she's the love of my life! Every time we talk i feel comfortable and after a while or whenever he calls her or texting her i die complicated, isn't?
What would happen if you she was not going to marry him? Would she become an outcast/would her family reject her? How important is her family to her? Are homosexual people prosecuted in your country? Well, you didn't say much about your culture/country. If homosexuals are not prosecuted, I'd probably talk to her and make her consider her thoughts. Ask her what is more important to her... choose to live with her girlfriend who she loves or "give in" to society and live a fake life. Of course this would be a totally different matter if homosexuals were prosecuted in your countries. Then, I could kind of understand why you would want to seem "normal" and marry a man as a lesbian. Honestly, if I were in your situation, I couldn't stand the thought of my girlfriend marrying and living with a man. And what if he ever learned about it? It's not really fair for him either. A really difficult situation. I'm sorry that you have to go through this.
I'm so sorry. I really don't have any advice, except that I'm pretty sure my partner can undestand the issues, she is from the Middle East and when she blatantly told her family she wasnt marrying a man, she lost half of them. I'll ask her for advice for you. I know you love this woman. I know that you feel you can't live without her, but how happy are you actually going to be knowing she is with this man. Physically also. Marriage is a lot of things and are you going to be able to stand this? Also, if you think she is falling for him, have you asked her? Have you discussed what's going to become of your relationship once she is "offically" his wife. I can't see this being healthy for you mentally. Are you getting married also? Or just her?
