I'm attracted to guys who don't make good LTR partners

Hey ZeroBlue, welcome to EC!

I don't know...some of these "ordinary" guys, if given the chance, will probably try a little harder to be what you're looking for. All you need to do is find some good thing you like about them give 'em a chance! You may be surprised at what these seemingly "ordinary" guys can do!

 

OP, I'd like to see numbers on the coupling rates in the gay community to begin with. I'd bet they're not as high as one might think. I think they are higher for lesbians, from what I can see.

A lot of guys want options, for as long as they can enjoy them. If you like the more "whorish" guys, it sounds like you like the fleeting aspect of the sex. Also, is "whorish" more of a gym devoted, tatted up, menacing look? Or is it a behavior? Reason is that some of the bookish guys actually fare better in technique. You'd be surprised. Also, some of the more wholesome bookish guys aren't LT material, either. Their being clean cut doesn't mean they're emotionally available. Either way, I'd like to see some stats on viable relationships in the GLBT community. Many seem to like shooting themselves in the foot when it comes to a someone who might be good for them. It's all over the map.

 

How old are you?
So it's definitely the "impulsive and sex-driven" personality that really turns you on? Not just the physical characteristics that often go along with that type of personality?
Hmm :/
That's tricky... in my opinion, there will be some really nice guys out there that can get super horny as well... I'm sure you can find someone who will work for you, just keep looking

 

You'll find someone that has the edgy aspect that you like. Just have to be patient really. There's tons of guys that can be more "freaky" in bed, and present themselves more conservatively. You really just have to practice some self control. Let a period of courtship unwind with one of the types that you think you're less attracted to. And you may find that balance that you'd like, i.e. Someone who can have a more kinky side and a professional demeanor elsewhere. It's not a requirement of mine personally, but it is an idea that I've flirted with. I like the idea of knowing aspects of a person no one else would know unless they were intimate with the guy.. You have a better chance of molding someone in the bedroom than you would have molding their personalities. A lot of the time, a parter who is loyal and caring will want to satisfy you in the bedroom. It's a fine line for me there though because I think sex should also be..."respectful"? i.e., not asking your partner to do demeaning things in the bedroom. To each his own though. I think it's very likely that you can find a dude that will be the kind of kinky you like and also be loyal. You may also want to self evaluate yourself and make sure that you're emotionally available. Hope this helps in some way.

 

^This. What Pat said is very true. Most people start with the assumption that there has to be sexual attraction first, then the emotional attraction. While this may be true in most cases, sometimes it's the reverse, and then arousal becomes possible because of the emotional connection.

And, as Pat said, practice and experimentation over the long-term are more likely from a guy who is loyal to you and who wants to make you happy by giving you some say in how the sex will be.

 

Well it does exist gentlemen that can have a high sexual drive still, so with some luck you might bump into someone like that, it's hard to know before you are in a relationship really. If you end up with a nice guy who isn't as wild as you want, perhaps you could bring it up to him if he would be okay with roleplay in the bedroom for example?