First meet up looming and still confused

There's been a few threads here so while a dog barks outside I shall write this. He IS gay and I am OUT to him.

From what I can find I made my first thread about Eric in march on the 21st.... I thought we started chatting in may but turns out it's been 9 months.... damn

We met on a dating app with the name of a type of bee, and since then we've moved from there to text to Facebook.

Since we've met I've always wondered if he ever liked me in a dating sort of way, and throughout this time there's been some stuff that makes me think so:

Called me hun/honey (though I say it to people when I feel like it)
called me adorable/ a dork (in the cute way)
Emojiis like smilies in texts


And recently we've both found each others soft spots for the little pusheen kitty and at we send each other those little stickers on Facebook Mobile and he was the first one to send one involving hearts and it didn't really fit with the flow of the convo, so I played along and sent a kissy faced one (the only one I had at the time that had hearts in it) and we both laughed. And then he did it again later on and we've been using the stickers to help convo and it's like a game now

But... we haven't had time to meet yet in person until after next week. We've talked on the phone so we're a skype call away from having done every common way to know each other.

Another thing is that in our talks we both told each other we'll probably end up forever alone with a lot of animals to keep us company And laughed at the similarity.

Honestly if it wasn't the fact I've only known him 9 months I'd say I love him a little :/ BUT I HAVE NO CLUE IF HE LIKE ME BACK

Halp

 

Thabks guys, yeah don't worry I know all about the safety stuff, even though so far he hasn't given me any reason not to trust him, I still have people know where I'm going and will text them when I meet him, occasionally, and when I'm expecting to be back.

I won't be talking to him consistently today just a little 'have a nice day at work' thing

 

hey guys, just a small update
he had a flight home for the holidays on Friday, and i talked to him until then, i have stuff to do and i wanted to give him time home so im thinking ill just chat with him during Christmas?

 

so we finally met up today, it was freezing cold and i was late 2 and half hours because (in this order)
jeans wouldnt dry
brother didnt put gas in my car
went to get gas, big line
car accident
train wouldnt take my cards to buy a pass
had to wait for a heavenly soul to lend me 5$ since i had no cash
thought i was goin the wrong way when i wasnt then had to wait for another train
when i got off he told me to take a bus that will take me directly there, it didnt
had to walk a lot, confused

so that was, freezing

he had somewhere to be in an hour and half so we only had time for food, was a tad awkward and we both did a lot of checking of phones and me being distracted by people outside (i mean i lose my mind over a butterfly for christ sakes)

he's nice, and cute, and we agreed to do something again when its warmer out, now that i know what im doing i can most definitely arrive much earlier


unfortunatley i didnt have time to get wrapped up in emotions, well, good ones

when i was waiting for the train home i got a call from my parents saying our oldest dog had a stroke, and they were waiting for me to put her to sleep. i made the dumb mistake of telling erik that so it made it seem a cry for attention but i hope he doesnt take it that way

 

Thanks guys, just to clear up it wasn't a date just a meet up

I haven't actually worked up the courage to actually confirm to him I have feelings

Mostly because I feel like I put more into the communicating (as it is with every relationship I've ever had, and I mean relationship in the broad sense of the word, friends, colleagues, what have you) and if I'm going to admit those kinds of feelings I want to feel like I'm actually on that persons mind too, if I'm being dumb just say so haha

But on a bit of an impulse I bought some fish for one of my tanks and since they'll need some close watching for the first month or so I told him I'll be home every weekend this month and we agreed to think of stuff to do so hopefully I get to see him again soon and make up for what has to be the worst first impression of all time

 

So just today I want to give an example of what sometimes happens and what I mean by the confusing flirting:

Me: fml I have to spend all day in the city this is going to suck
At least I get to eat cool food right
*picture of kitty eating sushi*

Him: sushi for kitty?
*picture of kitty pouring syrup on pancakes*
My pussy likes the fat stuff

Me: I bet it does *picture of kitty winking majestically*

Him: *picture of a bunny making a kissy face with a heart*

Me: bun
S

*5 minutes later*

Get it, cuz like bunny, and then buns like a butt

Him: wut wut in the butt

Me: quench yo thirst *accompanying photo*

Him: with sake? Ew (he thought the cats were drinking sake and the bottle had a white liquid and the letter M on it... milk)

Me: thats milk but okay
You really dropped the ball(s) on that one

Him: That's not milk it's sake
I can tell by the shape of the bottle
And the glasses they're drinking from
Maybe it's cat milk sake or something
Oh wait it's milk
I saw the m

Me: SONNN (in retrospect I probably should have just lmao'd since I was practically on the floor laughing)

Him: I Might be an alcoholic

Me: that's okay ill still be your friend <3

Fin


Okay despite me laying it thick there and the bad pun and the terrible ending... thoughts? Like what is he doing I don't know and it gives me false hope because I would have such a hard time with long distance especially since some days I don't hear anything from him

 

Thanks!

But I don't know how to casually slide it into conversation

I can totally just throw it up out there because I'm cute and smart enough that I can get away with being linguisticly clumsy sometimes, maybe the next time this happens I'll be "okay I'm really confused because this kinda skews my feelings and I can't tell up from down"

Or admit it on the next meet up sometime next month/ whenever I have time to visit

But I'm also at the age where I'm old enough to do stuff but I still can't drink or go to the gay bars and all his friends are older
Like i think I'm def on the young end of his friends, also his friends

Help

 

I did it but he's out so probably won't see it for awhile
Sent it at 9 pm eastern time so guess I have to wait

 

" hey (my name) I saw your message, I typically don't rush into things like relationships head first, ive learned that the hard way haha. im really flattered you like me, and I think you're really cool as well but for now lets just keep it at friends til we get to know each other more and then go from there "

We're still chatting about other stuff and He said I've got guts for saying it so I'm hoping he's being genuine too and not just keeping up appearences.

So? Thoughts? I'm guessing I just gotta get closer with him until one day I can ask again or he'll ask me since he knows now.

 

That's what I'm hoping to do, it is hard to get to know someone through a screen, it happens but it takes longer than actually being there in person

We talked about other stuff as well today so we got back into the swing of things, I want to update this thread if anything significant pops up in convo that I'd like advice on and meet up and what not.

 

Just something funny that happened, we're both big on game of thrones (I haven't read the books I like to read hardcover books and I can't find it in hardcover) and I was complaining how I can't be a stark because it's cold.

He told me I'd be more comfortable in Volantis, not remembering what that was I just said okay ill take it

Well, Volantis in the books is known for sex Slave trafficking and then he called me a pillow boy and how I'd do a good job at "taking it"

Yup, this is who I choose to like...

 

Haven't really talked to him this weekend which is nice since I only felt the need to message when I was incredibly bored and couldn't think of anything else. It felt nice to just put down the giant pot of emotions associated with him and let it simmer.

Anyway while that was cooking I thought about what he said about taking things slow and being friends, I'm assuming he left it open ended because we really haven't talked much in person and he wants to get to know me in real life before doing anything. I've been trying to think of things to do with him because he is in the city and I'm not, so we can't hang out all the time and therefore can't do too much.
At the same time my long breaks are currently spent catching up and later on with my friends having the whole college experience, so that leaves weekends.

I want to see if down the line I can ask him to go on a weekend adventure to hike/camp or go explore a city (bars would be out of the question since I probably wouldn't be allowed in anyway, makes me feel like a kid blah) but obviously we'd have to do the usual go around parks and watch movies then go around parks..

Tl;Dr how do I basically become his friend when we're so distant and inaccessible or time is too short?


And on top of that I go abroad for at least one and a quarter years up to one and a half starting this June, I doubt he can come visit me in Barcelona just nonchalantly and it'd be unreasonable to ask him to be with me and then right off the bat go away.

 

Hey guys, been a while and lots of things have happened, I started off at around 6 hookups and now I'm probably closer to 20, all these new experiences happening within the the past 4/5 weeks yes I know not good I got tested Friday and get results Monday.

tl;Dr : went to see him and gave him his long due b day gifts, we got high, his friend bailed so instead of taking me home we went to his place, smoked some more then he started getting touchy, we end up sleeping in his bed both of us completely naked (he fondled me and we kissed..well...tried) he told me he really liked me and then when we woke up he took me home

Anyway it was Erics birthday in February and I bought him a pipe (glass...) and was going to give him a drawing I did as well.
We finally met yesterday again in person for like the second time and we spent the majority of the time driving around trying to find a place to park and smoke.
We found a spot and did our not too legal business then went and drove around some more, we came through a street with a cop parked at one side (busy dealing with something but nonetheless freaked us out) so he turned into a parking lot (drove in through the exit so not suspicious) and we parked to go get something to eat naturally haha.
We ate at this cool place with kabobs and then he got some frozen yogurt and we went back to the car. I was supposed to leave at 3 but his friend he was meeting with wasn't responding so he asked if I wanted to chill at his place to which I agreed since I had nothing to do and was still high as balls.
We get to his place and smoke some more then go back inside the house to watch golf with his roomy. We're laying on the couch Amd he lays back and starts getting all touchy and pokey and that happens for awhile (I was trying to brush him off because the roommate was right there and it'd be rude to just to do that there haha) and then he asks if I wanted to take a nap in his room... and I said yeah

We get there (so messy lol) and we get in bed and then he starts up all over again. Eventually I give in ( I really didn't want to do anything with him because I know I'll look way too into it so I'm pretty mad at myself I let it get as far as it did)
He's basically all up in my business and we were trying to make out but smoking makes your mouth really dry and all that's left is this thick slobber so it was a mess but it was funny because when I moved away there was a string of the stuff still connecting our mouths and we both laughed. Thankfully he gets super ticklish when he's high (where as I get really horny -_-) so he wouldn't let me undress him but he did say he really liked me. So we stop and he undresses and we cuddle for a bit before he passes the fuck out. I would have too but I was no longer bothered but extremely hot so I had to find a way to separate myself from his mass and cool down to sleep. Sadly the position he fell asleep in caused him to snore really loud so I didn't get much sleep but it was nice anyway to just chill around him and I got close again to cuddle

We woke up around 630 and he drops me off at the station again.

so yeah I still really like him and I'm excited for spring break to hopefully hang out more, and maybe not smoke so I deal with his advances better, though I'm still really confused if I should actually sleep with him considering what we've said to each other because part of me says it would be okay.

I've never seen a guy again after I've had some sort of sexual contact with them but I have a feeling it'll be different with him (since we're friends) and another guy in slept with on Thursday (because we know each other from before)

I'm still really confused with how I'm going to handle my abroad situation which is why I'm so hesitant with getting with him, I was talking to another guy that maybe it would be best to find another dude and have a fling with them or keep going how I'm doing then to get tied down so I can go to Europe single.

Idk I'd really like an open relationship, partly for me and partly for because I don't want to ruin his fun as well.

Anyway, that's my update for this situation blah