There's this gay guy I know who is very handsome and is a very nice guy. We're friends, but there is one thing that bugs me when I'm around him, and that is he always is picking at my flaws, saying things like "I wouldn't bottom to you," or "You're too skinny and bony for me" or "I like the fact you're tall, but you're not muscular enough," or like, when I was talking about throwing a chair out a window he was like "with what muscles?" We're not even dating, he has told me he's not interested in me that way, so what does he care anyway? :icon_redf
Some people (including me) express friendship or affection by making sarcastic comments or put downs. My partner and I do this with each other all the time and would probably horribly confuse someone who didn't know us. Some of my other friends and I and also my boss do this as well. The thing with this sort of banter is that all parties need to know that it's just kidding around and not serious. And you need to know when to tone it down or what topics to avoid so as not to hurt feelings. If this guy is trying to be funny but doesn't realize he's hurting your feelings, you need to tell him. Sit him down, explain that sometimes his comments hurt and ask why he's doing this. Hopefully he'll apologize and tone it down or you guys can discuss acceptable boundaries or the like. If he's not bothered by causing a friend pain, then you should reevaluate your friendship. You might also consider firing back although if snarkiness is not something you enjoy that might not work for you. Hope this helps, Todd
Yes, just tell him you don't like it and how it makes you feel. I know I personally would not like anyone to criticize my weight/appearance because I got enough of that growing up with an over-critical father. A real friend will respect such a request.
